Page 6 of 7 [ 99 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

Wolfpup
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,409
Location: Central Illinois, USA

02 May 2007, 5:13 pm

Eller wrote:
Wolfpup wrote:
Ironically I kid people that I know well, but don't seem to pick up on it always when others do. People at work do this to me a lot and I take them seriously until they explain they were just kidding (women mostly, so women must do it too).


Not sure about that - women are kidding sometimes, but not as often as men. And sometimes they say they were just kidding, even when they in fact weren't. It's difficult to tell who is lying.


I'm pretty sure in this case they were just kidding. One of them has pretty much said she enjoys how I react to it-and they're really not being mean about it or anything. It's just I'll launch into an explanation or whatever, and they'll have to stop me because they already know.



DoubleFeed
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 204

02 May 2007, 8:05 pm

waterdogs wrote:
Yupa wrote:
If you don't get it you're in serious need of a social skills workshop.
haha
Those exist? Where?



aspiedude
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 55

04 May 2007, 9:13 pm

unnamed wrote:
I'm a skinny, blonde, white aspie chick who spent 17 years in a customer service job with almost 300 blacks (I'm using "blacks" cos it's the quickest to type), and this experience did more for me than any other in my life. It knocked most of the aspie anxiety out of me, that's for sure. Yeah, it took us all a while to get used to each other, but once they got where I was coming from, they appreciated my honesty and directness. They'd always tell me how they liked me because they always knew where they stood with me, that they knew I wasn't out to jerk them around. And they never once jerked ME around, unlike others there. But yeah, they did "mess with me," just like they messed with each other constantly. They taught me to have a sense of humor and not take myself too seriously, but most importantly they taught me not to take any s#&t from anyone, something that I see other people (aspies & NTS) doing constantly. Not me.

So I'm honored to have the chance to say: THANK YOU, BLACK FOLKS!! !! ! :D :D :D

I recommend that the OP consider getting a part-time job working with those guys at the gym.



Ditto this post. Beware thou, Blacks are not immune to throwing aspies under the bus to incur favor with "whiter" folk (at least here in the US).



blacktext
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 109

04 May 2007, 9:58 pm

unnamed wrote:
So I'm honored to have the chance to say: THANK YOU, BLACK FOLKS!! !! !


On behalf of all Black people I warmly accept your sincere wishing of thanks :)



Todd489
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 997

04 May 2007, 11:19 pm

Most of the black people I've met are pretty awesome. However, there are a few at my school who act like this guy:
(WARNING: OFFENSIVE)
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=9UDlPk_b5ME[/youtube]

(Not that there aren't plenty of white people who act the same way.)



roygerdodger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Jul 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,527
Location: High Point, North Carolina

05 May 2007, 8:06 am

Todd489 wrote:
Most of the black people I've met are pretty awesome. However, there are a few at my school who act like this guy:
(WARNING: OFFENSIVE)
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=9UDlPk_b5ME[/youtube]

(Not that there aren't plenty of white people who act the same way.)


I'm black, too and I don't even act that way.



the-over-analyzed
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 266
Location: United States

05 May 2007, 7:00 pm

Black people are just like white people, only more colorful.



beautifulspam
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 324

07 May 2007, 2:48 pm

It's part of black culture in America to be more playfully "aggressive" than whites. While this isn't a bad thing it can be disconcerting if you're not used to it.

Where I work about half the employees are black. When they start ragging on me about this or that I just look them in the eye and laugh it off. Next to giving it right back (i'm not witty enough for this, also i'm the new guy and i cant quite afford the social capital) this is the best possible response.

I suggest you try being a little more assertive and have a sense of humor about the teasing. It's not intended to hurt you, but at the same time they'll find it hard to respect you if you visibly let it bother you.



Ragtime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2006
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,927
Location: Dallas, Texas

08 May 2007, 10:16 am

Yupa wrote:
Wait, what do you mean you don't get the "I'm just messing with you" thing?
It's a common social tactic known as "friendly teasing". I and the people I hang around with at school use it all the time (and most of us are white, btw).
If you don't get it you're in serious need of a social skills workshop.


Wait... An Aspie in need of a social skills workshop? NO! 8O
:lol:


_________________
Christianity is different than Judaism only in people's minds -- not in the Bible.


Shale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 541
Location: New Zealand

14 May 2007, 11:55 pm

Similar culture in a way to the Islander/Maori communities here. "Messing with ya" is a way of building rapport, having a joke and easing the tension in a situation. With NTs, confusing them and making them panic gets them worked up (as it would anyone), but the sudden relief of "Just messing with ya" brings a smile, a laugh, and easier conversation.

It's a sign someone likes you, ya know :) Especially in regards to you taking it well...laughing or smiling...they'll have some respect for you at a basic level.

That's a good lesson to learn, as is Unnamed's experience above. Learn to laugh and smile, develop a comfortable sense of humour, NEVER take yourself too seriously. Life's a game...you can enjoy the game or burn out trying to win. I say go for gold, laughing the whole way! :D



HurricaneRae
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 73
Location: Fort Wayne, IN

16 May 2007, 6:59 am

Getting back to the topic of the humor used that confused the original poster, I totally understand where you are coming from. I HATE it when this sort of humor is used. The "psych" or "just kidding" humor. I can never tell when it's happening and then feel extremely embarressed because I didn't catch it. My perception of this type of humor is that it is a kind of trick to be played on guillible people like me, so I feel hurt when the person is trying to make a joke. I sometimes have troubles with other types of humor too, but at this point in my life I have more people around me with a similar sense of humor as I, so I can share my own humor and theirs. However, with strangers, I don't usually catch on to subtle humor.

Just my two cents.

Rae



Wolfpup
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,409
Location: Central Illinois, USA

16 May 2007, 9:21 am

HurricaneRae wrote:
Getting back to the topic of the humor used that confused the original poster, I totally understand where you are coming from. I HATE it when this sort of humor is used. The "psych" or "just kidding" humor. I can never tell when it's happening and then feel extremely embarressed because I didn't catch it. My perception of this type of humor is that it is a kind of trick to be played on guillible people like me, so I feel hurt when the person is trying to make a joke. I sometimes have troubles with other types of humor too, but at this point in my life I have more people around me with a similar sense of humor as I, so I can share my own humor and theirs. However, with strangers, I don't usually catch on to subtle humor.

Just my two cents.

Rae


That's how I generally feel about it too. I think if the person someone is doing it to doesn't seem to appreciate it, then they're just being jerks if they keep doing it.



natty
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 318

16 May 2007, 10:55 am

Ok I havent read all of this thread but i had a thought about the op's question.
Could it be that when he asked you for the thing he asked for , and then after said just messin with you , could it be that the long pause was accompanied by a confused or shocked look on your face , and so whilst he was not actually messin with you , he said it to put you at ease , to make you stop thinking about it , of course we can see it didnt work but he wasnt to know that. a bit like when someone tries to explain something to someone and the otherperson doesnt understand so the first person says *don't worry about it* and moves onto the next thing.



hyperbolic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,869

17 May 2007, 11:23 am

I am surprised at how long this thread has continued.

Is it better to just smile and laugh at *everything* someone says to you so that there is no mistaking on the part of the other person that you think they're not joking?

Also, I'm working at a new job at the main cash register and a lot of black people have come by and I have experienced few problems there so far. However, there was a black woman I was helping in the food aisle (she was asking whether we accepted EBT (food stamps)) who said I looked "scared" and said to me "you're some kind of something...bad...aren't you?" (As if I were better off not born.)



the-over-analyzed
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 266
Location: United States

17 May 2007, 4:32 pm

hyperbolic wrote:
I am surprised at how long this thread has continued.
It's been a cool thread

Quote:
Is it better to just smile and laugh at *everything* someone says to you so that there is no mistaking on the part of the other person that you think they're not joking?
Sometimes it is better. They still might think something is wrong. But Sometimes it's easier to just let people think I'm either ditzy or on drugs. At least they understand that.

[A lady]
Quote:
said I looked "scared" and said to me "you're some kind of something...bad...aren't you?" (As if I were better off not born.)
I hate it when that happens :? Shake it off and move on maybe?



ZEGH8578
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,532

18 May 2010, 1:44 pm

Public Service Announcement to Americans:

There are blacks outside of american culture!! !
I know this is shocking, but its true! :O


_________________
''In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center.''