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I can't keep female neurotypical friends

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cyberdad
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06 Mar 2024, 3:55 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Sexist beliefs/stereotypes are not uncommon but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t sexist. The problem here wasn’t a single sentence, but comments that were sprinkled throughout various posts. Cyberdad also said that his claim was a “fact of life,” that there was “no denying” another, and he stated what “actually” motivates women, so it seems more like he was promoting sexist viewpoints as fact rather than opinion. In any case, claiming that highly attractive women are narcissistic IS demeaning to women. Whether these opinions are personal or widespread, they are sexist and against WP’s rules and guidelines.]


Please read my last post. It's a fact of life for me at a time when I was single. Maybe I did not express myself articulately but that's on me. I find it creepy I am stalked by certain members waiting for me to trip and then run to the moderators accusing me of being sexist which is completely wrong. The three closest people in my life are my mother, my wife and and my daughter, I would kindly ask you stop calling me this label as it misrepresents who I am.



TwilightPrincess
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06 Mar 2024, 4:12 pm

No one is obligated to talk to anyone. Sometimes I choose not to talk to people I don’t feel safe with for whatever reason. There are lots of possibilities. No one is entitled to my attention except for my son.

The fact that one has lived as a young male does not mean that he knows how women think and feel. I wouldn’t make similar claims about men just because I have experience dating them.

If people want to truly know this stuff, they need to actually listen to women. It seems as though we are often viewed as “the other” which can hinder listening and understanding and lead to problematic/sexist conclusions.

You can state your lived experience but you can't know WHY women didn't talk to you unless you’ve done a quantitative research study.

No one is stalking anyone on here that I’m aware of. I am free to express my opinion wherever I want as long as I’m not breaking the rules. However, if you feel like I am breaking the rules, you are free to make a report.

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So ok the last point 4 is relevant as its my experience. So when I say "facts" I am not projecting, it is my lived experience. As it so happens many hundreds of young men on WP have had similar experiences where they are deliberately ignored as if they don't exist by females.
You might be projecting your own experience on to them. People struggle for different reasons. We aren’t all the same.


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cyberdad
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06 Mar 2024, 4:28 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
No one is obligated to talk to anyone. Sometimes I choose not to talk to people I don’t feel safe with for whatever reason. ].


I am not passing judgement. Just an observation.



cyberdad
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06 Mar 2024, 4:31 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
The fact that one has lived as a young male does not mean that he knows how women think and feel. I wouldn’t make similar claims about men just because I have experience dating them..


The fact that a retired fisherman does not know what its like to live like a fish doesn't mean they can't share their experiences with other fisherman. Watching how fish behave is how you catch one.



TwilightPrincess
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06 Mar 2024, 4:34 pm

cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
The fact that one has lived as a young male does not mean that he knows how women think and feel. I wouldn’t make similar claims about men just because I have experience dating them..


The fact that a retired fisherman does not know what it’s like to live like a fish doesn't mean they can't share their experiences with other fisherman. Watching how fish behave is how you catch one.

More sexism.

I’m puzzled as to why you think comparing women to fish would be a good idea. :|

We are people just like the fisherman. We aren’t something to be “caught.”


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 06 Mar 2024, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
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06 Mar 2024, 4:35 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
You can state your lived experience but you can't know WHY women didn't talk to you unless you’ve done a quantitative research study..


Oh brother :roll:
This is a discussion forum not a think tank.
Yes I do not know the reasons but I am wanting to explore with other young men what might be the barriers they face. Yes I acknowledge women have the right to choose whom they engage with, No judgement.

But in case you have been living under a rock, there are a lot of young men who find it difficult to even engage with females let alone make friends. "Be yourself" doesn't actually work for a lot of men. And as usual I seem to be the only one who is keeping on topic (let's remind everyone) - "I cant keep female nuerotypical friends"



cyberdad
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06 Mar 2024, 4:36 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
The fact that one has lived as a young male does not mean that he knows how women think and feel. I wouldn’t make similar claims about men just because I have experience dating them..


The fact that a retired fisherman does not know what it’s like to live like a fish doesn't mean they can't share their experiences with other fisherman. Watching how fish behave is how you catch one.

More sexism.

I’m puzzled as to why you think comparing women to fish would be a good idea. :|

We are people just like the fisherman. We aren’t something to be “caught.”


It's a mataphor, I am not calling anyone a fish



TwilightPrincess
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06 Mar 2024, 4:39 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Yes I do not know the reasons but I am wanting to explore with other young men what might be the barriers they face.
If you want to engage with young men only, maybe you should consider joining certain sites. :wink:

cyberdad wrote:
But in case you have been living under a rock, there are a lot of young men who find it difficult to even engage with females let alone make friends.
There are a lot of “females” who struggle to even engage with young men.


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cyberdad
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06 Mar 2024, 4:56 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Yes I do not know the reasons but I am wanting to explore with other young men what might be the barriers they face.
If you want to engage with young men only, maybe you should consider joining certain sites. :wink:


Wait? isn't that sexist?



TwilightPrincess
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06 Mar 2024, 5:04 pm

cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Yes I do not know the reasons but I am wanting to explore with other young men what might be the barriers they face.
If you want to engage with young men only, maybe you should consider joining certain sites. :wink:

Wait? isn't that sexist?

You said that you want to "explore with other young men what might be the barriers they face." You didn't mention women and don't seem to value our input. If you don't want to hear from women about how we think and feel and would rather rely on your own experience from many years ago, specific sites might be more to your liking. I seem to recall you stating that you were backing out of L&D here anyway.


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cyberdad
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06 Mar 2024, 5:12 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Yes I do not know the reasons but I am wanting to explore with other young men what might be the barriers they face.
If you want to engage with young men only, maybe you should consider joining certain sites. :wink:

Wait? isn't that sexist?

You said that you want to "explore with other young men what might be the barriers they face." You didn't mention women and don't seem to value our input. If you don't want to hear from women about how we think and feel and would rather rely on your own experience from many years ago, specific sites might be more to your liking. I seem to recall you stating that you were backing out of L&D here anyway.


This is a forum, Everyone is welcome to throw their opinions. But trying to silence people is not constructive. And telling a male to go to a male orientated site (I know the ones you are alluding to) is technically sexist.



TwilightPrincess
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06 Mar 2024, 5:20 pm

No one is trying to silence anyone. Since you seemed to be solely interested in men's welfare and viewpoints on this topic, I thought it might be a helpful idea that would align with your stated goals. In this overall discussion, it's not a sexist suggestion. I wasn't implying that anyone leave WP.


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Cornflake
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06 Mar 2024, 6:36 pm

cyberdad wrote:
But trying to silence people is not constructive.
Silenced? You're not being silenced.
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And telling a male to go to a male orientated site (I know the ones you are alluding to) is technically sexist.
But you weren't "told" - a suggestion was offered within the context of what you'd said.
That's not only clear where it occurred - you also have have an explanation of it.


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uncommondenominator
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06 Mar 2024, 11:59 pm

My actual real-world lived and observed experience as a man has shown me that a lotta guys are a lot more sexist than they think, simply cos they've mistaken sexism for "facts". Also that a lotta guys think they're way more of a catch than they actually are.

Imagine telling women that they can't know how men feel, while telling women how women feel.

Good jorb.



cyberdad
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07 Mar 2024, 1:20 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
Imagine telling women that they can't know how men feel, while telling women how women feel.
=.

Where is anyone telling women how they should feel?



cyberdad
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07 Mar 2024, 1:21 am

Cornflake wrote:
But you weren't "told" - a suggestion was offered within the context of what you'd said.
That's not only clear where it occurred - you also have have an explanation of it.


huh?