Why Are You So Quiet?

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I am told this almost every day of my life. My parents have even gone so far as to say my lack of socialization is "sick" and "unhealthy". I will talk to people at school so what's so bad about wanting the rest of my time alone? Aside from my friends who are into the same things I am, no one cares about what I have to say anyway.

I have had this asked many times in life, more recently the other week, to which I replied "it's who I am!", which is a better alternative than "because i'm not interested in speaking to you, you don't interest me."

I find that people ask this rude question because they are uncomfortable and insecure. I just find talking for the sake of it uncomfortable, boring and annoying.

I'm always quiet. I just don't see the point of talking if nothing needs to be said. I'm terrible at small talk and general communication and people always seem to call me out on it. Why do they care if I'm quiet? It irritates me and makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Thats what everyone says about me. I just really don;t know what to say at all in a social situation thats why Im quiet. When I was young the only time I said something was when I was talking about my topics of special interest and my obsessions ( a classic Aspie trait). Of course as i grew older I realized that this wasn;t how to properly interact with people. So I have nothing to say. I have a lot on my mind but like many Aspies there's extreme difficulty verbalizing thought due to how our brains our wired. .

When people ask me why I'm usually so quiet, what I want to say is "Well, I find it extremely difficult to translate my thoughts into proper words and sometimes even when I manage that, my mouth refuses to cooperate with my brain and I can't even open my mouth, or I end up saying something that barely resembles what I intended" but the exact reason I'm so quiet in the first place means I end up saying something along the lines of "eh.... I dunno?"

It's really frustrating, especially since I know that even if I managed to say it, nobody would believe me anyway because they'd take the infrequent occasions when I can speak normally (which requires much more effort than I feel comfortable admitting) as contradictory evidence.

This is a strange topic for me; I've had people question why I am so quiet after only being around me for a few minutes. I have an observational approach to the world that I've had to develop over the years. It probably stems from the 'know-it-all' tag that I was saddled with in kindergarten and never got over.

"I'm sorry. Does my quietness bother you?"

It's so freaking annoying. All the time! People just don't get it. I've even explained and they still think I'm just being a jerk or not participating because I'm lazy and inconsiderate.

I may seem quiet in certain places at certain times, but I'm actually a very outgoing person.

Honestly if I'm being REALLY quiet, there's a good chance that I can care less about a good fraction of the people I'm with. For example: I'm VERY quiet in English class because most of the students seem very immature for kids who are my age. They're constantly calling out answers that never seem to have anything to do with the questions, always talking with each other when the teacher is trying to speak, and the guys try to immitate rap music for most of the class.

On the other hand, I'm more outgoing in my art class. This is because everyone seems more 'linked' to each other in a way that we're all helping one another improve on our work. It's also easier to get to know each person through the kind of art they do, so it's a lot easier to make friends in that class. The only time we ever talk to each other in that class is during critiques, when helping others with projects, or when we find something we like about someone else's work. We also tend to hang out outside of school as a result of being so close to everyone in class.

When I was a kid and someone would ask why I was so quiet, I would shrug and say nothing, because I didn't know what they wanted me to say.

Now that I am older and I understand NTs better, when someone asks me why I am so quiet, I smile mischievously and say nothing, just to make them wonder.

I used to get this when I was in junior and high school. In junior high I heard one person ask another if I ever spoke at all. The guy said, "Sure he does". He's said "Hey, Matt!" I said,"What?" and he said "there you go!".
Now at my job I am conscious of the fact that I am quieter that pretty much everyone (I am plotting my attack!....or playing some steam game of the laptop...downtime at work rocks!) But I talk when talking is required for my job. I am sure I would have more friends if I talked more, but I don't know if its worth the energy expenditure!

I just have nothing to say. The things they talk about, what someone put on Facebook etc, isn't something I can talk about or feel interested in, therefore I feel no 'need' to talk. I do actively participate in class.

I do get a lot of "You are so quiet" too. It's very irritating.
I always try to think of a good come back but just end up saying something like "I guess I am."

That question always perturbs me, because I think I am actually being sociable... apparently not?

Person: " 'Bob' you're hilarious! How come I've never heard you never talk before?"

"Bob" : "Wait... WHAT? I've never talked? I thought I was being social in class..."

Response: "No 'Bob,' I always thought you were the awkward, quiet kid."

Always happens...