Did any kind of bullying affect you PSYCHOLOGICALLY?

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A lot of these posts are so sad...

to answer the topic, I'm sure my negative experiences have affected me. They stunted my social growth. I weighed 232 lbs in 7th grade. You can imagine how that could lead to bullying. I forced myself to diet and lose a massive amount of weight, which I obsessively struggle to keep off, since I've come to associate my self worth with it. To avoid bullying, I became shy and quiet throughout gradeschool, and that took its tole. I didn't learn how to speak normally, or to emote properly, so that pretty much screwed me over. I was so confused... I'm still learning. It's hard to relax too- it always feels like someone's going to attack me if I let my guard down.

I don't know what kind of person I'd be today if not for the bullying, but I'm sure it messed me up.

In regards to the psychological after effects of bullying, well, I've often found it very hard to say not to someone or to a particular scenario as well.Often I've found myself being dragged around and made to feel as, if I was some Chinese peasant working in the fields and that it is okay to mistreat me in anyway shape or form.. I do try to work at not letting people belittle me and all yet, I'll admit that it is not easy at all..

Ironically, most of the bullying I endured was by my "so-called" friends more than others. Exception being the boy in 7th grade who started my psychological downfall by constantly calling me "stupid" "slow" and "loser" in the hallways and was always constantly criticizing me over my strange quirks. I spent my whole high school years believing I was all three things.

In 8th grade. My girlfriends decided to treat me as less of a person after I came crawling back to them for friendship out of desperation. I didn't have much of a choice because this was a VERY small school. I thought it was rather mean of them when our 8th grade class was stopping some place for breakfast on our way to our class DC trip. There were no more seats when I joined them and they told me teasingly to go sit at a table by myself. I didn't see why I couldn't just pulled up an extra chair (you would in a situation like that right). Well they practically got at me until they drove me off and I ended up eating my breakfast alone. Not one of them even came to join me.

The bullying continued again in college. My ex-boyfriend being the biggest bully I had to deal with. He thought it would be funny when he got administrator powers over a forum I was a member of...to hack into my profile and change my picture to that of a fat ret*d man and change my gender to a male. We've been getting at each other's s**t endlessly since then. I dunno if it's common for an exboyfriend to treat you like that after he breaks up with you. I thought he would've gone easier on me after that but I guess I was wrong. Other friends were also mean to me...mostly racist. I mean I know they're being funny but the Asian jokes can get real old real fast. No one seemed to care though. Everytime I try to crack even the smallest joke, someone finds it offensive. But everything they do to me is considered "okay". I had no business being on a sketch comedy show to begin with so I tend to think I brought this on myself.

raisedbyignorance, I can understand how people often treat you in a cruel,callous manner.Often most people tend to think bullying as, being physically pushe around all.Actually bullying, can be many things to various people and alll. I remember once how someone in P.E class had destroyed shall we say, my only pair of underwear which, I was going to change into after the class was over and this person thought it was funny .Honestly, there can even be people whom bully you in terms of relationships as, I remember someone whom, I knew from High School often acted as, if she was my friend only to publicly embarrass at my place of occupation. Anyways, I've learned to better deal with those tyrants and all and try not to be anyone's peasant in the rice fields as, I like to call it.Something which, symbolically reminds me of being a servant as such or rather one's object to constant ridicule and such..

I also forgot to mention the boy in 8th grade who pretended to be in love with me and would say "I love you" to me across classrooms or say to me "has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" (which people in class would respond to with laughter). I guess it had to do with the fact that my peers thought I was a cold being who just needed that said to me or that I wasn't hugged enough as a child because he clearly wasnt interested in me and he got a girlfriend later in the year. Dont you hate it when people think of you like that and feel it's their obligation to "fix you"? Anyway, this guy's constant badgering screwed with my mind pretty bad. I ended up having a crush on him but I think maybe then since I was very unfamiliar with the concept of crushes or romantic feelings and I was pratically alone, perhaps I was more in need of people who were giving me attention like he was, even if it was negative attention.

Anyway I've lost my ability to determine/trust crushes, vs, need of friends, vs romantic feelings from that whole experience only to find that he died a few years ago. Just great...to me a bullying dying is far from karma....a bully dying is a bully who gets away with what they did without remorse. You dont know how angry I was to find out that he died because I had been considering many ways to get back at him for quite some time.

raisedbyignorance, Yes in some ways, I can recall back then how I was voted as class president at the time but, honestly I felt that it was not sincere and simply chose to have myself removed of that title altogether.Still, most likely having someone cause you so much turmoil in your life had to be quite difficult..I shan't lie and say, I never wished bad things to come unto people whom had wreaked havoc on my life but, overall was able to continue to live a near-normal life even though these days, I'm still somewhat self-conscious in regards to my overall appearance which, probably seems outlandish..

psychological bullying left a bigger impact on me than any physical bullying.

Bruises heal in days. Mental problems resulting from psychological trauma can be lifelong.

My 13 year old aspie son has been bullied since first grade, and its gotten worse in middle school, which I know happens even to NT kids. Everyone seems concerned about the physical bullying but not so much about eh psycholgical bullying, which is much worse. Even his dad seems to suggest to me that maybe our son is "whining" when he talks about it. This is crap. I am an aspie too and have lived with emotional abuse and the mind games by many people most of my life. The net result for me is rock-bottom self esteem, because even though I intellectually know the teasing has no basis in fact, I feel there is something "bad", "inferior" or "wrong" about me. I'm afraid that's what me son has to look forward to.

He has another tendency that I have--which is to seek out the wrong people, try to be friends with people who don't like him. He gets used and manipulated. He is very naive. How can I teach him to not be so naive when I can barely avoid falling into the trap myself?

1st to Raisedbyignoracne, I can fully understand how it feels when you have people pretend to act nice and all around you for, I've had that in my own life, even these days I'm somewhat unsure of various people's motives whether it's in terms of physical actions or verbal & non-verbal movements as well.. In many ways, you must suffer great from all the psychological tormentation you've had to endure all these past many years..No, I'm no therapist or the like, but sure as hell know what it is like to be treated as if your nothing more than a ragdoll to be thrown away be various people and all..

Pekkla, your quite right bullyism is not physical.In fact, I grew up around a father whom acted like Darth Vader from the sense he had mentally abused my mother,brother,sister, and myself therein; there are days when I sometimes feel not very pleasant overall still, I try to not become so eternally unpleasant wherein; I'd upset someone.Anyways, I do sincerely hope that your son does not have to endure the treatment and pain that many people in the autistic spectrum have to endure as it relates to bullyism...

Surely. It got so bad that I flunked the eight grade. I would have stayed back the second time if I wasn't sent to an alternative school. I just couldn't take it anymore.

at High school i got picked on consistaly was like a prison there the bullies were like oh hes our target lets get him, which i got bullied non stop for 6 years i called very nasty words from Spastic, Reatard and a very nasty word it hurt me to the point i feel ashamed of stepping out of my own home now thanks to bullies i hope they get bad karma and get whats coming to them. see me going around saying bad stuff about people NO i dont

Yep, I became violent over the years until I stabbed someone almost killing him.

http://redensignforever.blogspot.com/20 ... -past.html


An excerpt from my blog

Yes, I remember Elementary and Middle School. The kids sadistically tortured me and the teachers seemed to think I deserved it. It also didn't help that my Mom is a Chaos Junkie who doesn't know how to make things better. One time I got stabbed in the arm and got sent to a Special Ed school, which was actually the best thing that ever happened to me. The kids were all nice and the teachers understood my quirks. Then on my senior year I decided to attend 12th Grade full time at the High School, not because I wanted to, but because my teachers pushed me to do it. Going back to a school of narssasistic sociopaths was suppose to be a "Great Reward". But when I went back to High School everything changed, I was stronger and no longer let people think they could do what they wanted to me because I would get justice myself if no one else would. I hated the year I spent in High School because I liked the people at the Special Ed school more, but at least I got through it and proved to myself I can handle the "real world" now.

I would say the Bullying and Torture I experienced as a child has made me a stronger and smarter person. I just needed a lifeboat to float safely on.