Has anyone ever tried acting NT?

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I can pull it off well as I'm very mild anyway, and to other people I'm just shy you couldn't tell there was more to it, it is only noticable to other aspies or people that specialise in those fields. But years ago I used to try too hard and it made things show up more than when I relaxed a bit more. Now I just relax as my friends always stay with me anyway.
I consider myself lucky that acting NT comes easily to me.

I've tried it because I want to make friends, but all that happens is that I lose my sense of identity and feel like a hopeless failure. Realizing that I have Asperger's was one of the best things to happen to me. I don't feel as compelled to act NT as I used to.

To sum it up, I had to learn to mimic/script NT types of behavior to survive...

My mother was an alcoholic growing up and I ran the streets, my dad left before I was one...

My oldest sister is on the specrum and is a lot worse than I am... she has a alphabet for a diagnosis and is on all sorts of drugs to this day... I managed to not be put on any my whole life, part of it being is that my sister got the attention and I was looked over....

I have effectively been able to script enough NT behaviors, such as mimicing body language and verbal responses, something like running on automatic or auto-pilot... I can do it for only so long before I need to be alone and recharge by stemming and stuff...

I see many of these types of interactions and initial relationship building interactions as a series of logarithmetric functions and algorithims, something like a computer program written in the form of a hologram, more of a 3D format, in pictures, words, colors and smells, ect...

I learned to script NT types of behaviors yet maintain my identity retaining my autie/ADHD identity as well... like presenting one to preserve another... present a front of an NT by scripting behaviors, social skills, etc... to retain distance of others from my Autie person...

You've got quite an awareness there.

You're reminding me somewhat of the SIMS computer game, where the game characters gain energy, prestige, and grow in their careers by talking to/socializing with others. As a player, you have greeting options like "Shake hands / hug / air kiss / wave." You have talking options like "Ask about work / ask how are you / ask what are you into." You have more talking options like "Brag / gossip / flirt / tell a joke."

Choose the right option with the right character and you score positive points. Choose wrongly, you lose points and damage game relationships.

How in the world do people know what to choose ???

I think NTs might well have an easier time of it than Aspies figuring out how to play SIMS let alone how to get through real life social situations.

Yes, that's it exactly. 100%. I resonate strongly with this statement. I even organized the scripts into categories like 'The Cool Guy', 'The Presenter', 'The Professional', or 'The Jokester'. I'm still me, just wearing a nice suit of armor that nobody can see. When I reached the point I could maintain this for a good six hours in public, I was able to start gainful employment. But like any suit, it does not cover me completely and my oddity shows through the cracks. At some times more blatantly than others. Getting to this point here was the work of years and I lost several jobs and relationships in the interim.

The only thing I still suffer from a bit is when I use some borrowed 'stock phrases' from people who had accents. The accent tends to creep in when I use them thanks to the whole 'eidetic memory' thing.

I just searched for "acting NT" and got here.

I have worn myself out acting, that is why I'm hanging out here.

Here I can little by little let my real self out.

I'm quite confused today, want to be a human but see it as insurmountable in the NT world.

I visited that world yesterday much of the day and today just want to stay in the cave most of the time.

It isn't that I can't act that way, anyone here knows that is the only way to survive.

And yet, I am now retired and now can spend as much time as I like sitting in my cave considering the options that my demons list off for me....

Chores are calling, this is a good thing as it stills the demons and orders them into the background

All the time just to fit in to the rest of the world and whenever I go to work and It gets exhausting whenever I get home I don't want to do much but crash out afterwards.

I can't really explain this really. When I go out in public, I automatically put on an NT front. I can't stop it, if you know what I mean. If an Aspie advises me to stop trying to be like everyone else when out in public, I just cannot do it. When I come out, my brain automatically switches on to ''NT mode''. Of course there are some obstacles what I can't deal with and occasionally I do make mistakes in my actions or body language, but generally I can just act NT without having to force too much effort into it, as though a lot of it is from instinct.

Or maybe it's because I only have a very mild case of AS, and so I am able to put on a front like everybody else does, I'm not sure. This is why I get so bothered about the whole ''why are people staring at me?'' thing, it's because I can sort of automatically behave like an NT, after all these years of observing NT behaviour when out in public and kind of memorizing it until it's come quite natural now as an adult, so I'm aware enough to know if I'm doing anything different, since I don't stim anyways (stimming has never been an Aspie trait of mine).

Only all the time, since I turned 13.


Not that it ever works.

I've tried acting like an NT but I gave up trying because I decided to look past my autism and be myself for once so I can learn to love myself.

I tried it for a while, when it became more clear for me that I was fundamentally different, but couldn't put my finger on it. Now I just act as myself, which looks NT enough not to get harassed or anything.

I try every time I'm in public, it helps but it usually doesn't completely work. I guess I'm forever socially inept.

I have been working at this for almost 10 years of my life...but it has gotten to the point where a lot of my superficial NT like behaviours have become automatic or nearly automatic. I do this less around people who I'm close with, but around people I hardly know or cannot trust, I instinctively seem to put this guard up.

Yeah and it didn't work...so I decided i had better things to spend my energy on.

Did that for years. I was very successful. I was still very weird, but likeable. I think the secret was mostly laughing a lot, telling a lot of jokes, including much of the self-deprecating kind, and striving to avoid argument. It became too stressful with time. Also, I started to wish people would respect me as a serious human being, not just like me for being bananas, which I perceived was the common reaction to my behaviour; and pretending to be NT never solved my executive functioning deficit, so effectively I was making people expect much more out of me than I could deliver. Besides, I felt hollow and fake, no longer knowing who I was. So I've been straying away from this path for about a year now.

EDIT: So actually, maybe I wasn't entirely trying to be NT, but mostly was striving to be likeable. You can be nuts and still be likeable, at least in my country, as long as you're perceived as friendly. But I got sick of being friendly.

I know exactly what you mean. I have always been at least consciously aware of when I'm looking strange to others, and so I have always tried to adjust ever since I was a child to minimize this. If someone points out a behavior to me as weird, I will stop doing it immediately (or at least try my best to stop it).