Question about making friends, maybe good for everyone

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Maybe someone here may have good input on this, and we all could learn from this? When I started college so many years ago, I'm 27 now, someone told me that to make friends I should invite people to do things with me. So before cell phones were popular, I called this one guy on the phone a few floors below me in the dorm towers asking him if he wanted to play ping pong or pool sometime. He told me that he would be busy. Then I called him a week later, he said the same thing. Then I called him the next week, and he said the same thing. However, I noticed that he was often doing things with people. I tried that with other people, and they would always have a look on their face like I was awkward and say they were busy, but they always seemed to be doing things with others. I almost get the impression that you're supposed to pick up on cues or test the water or something for that type of stuff, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do? If most say they're busy, I take it that I'm doing something wrong?

Then later on someone else told me that to make friends, you first need to introduce yourself to them. Then make conversation with them many times for rapport, and add a compliment or two in sometime. Then invite them to do things with you or go places with you, and don't ignore them if they invite you to do likewise. I tried that some times with some of my roommates in college. It just didn't seem to get anywhere. I would invite them to do things with me a few times, and most of the time they said they were busy. If they did do things with me, it didn't seem to go anywhere. However, when they were around others they seemed much more warm. It was weird, because at the same time most of my roommates would accuse me of being anti-social and one even said that I should get psychological help because I was so anti-social. Someone else later told me you're also supposed to share a little bit of your life little by little, matching the other person without going too little or too much, and increase trust and support as you go along.

So how do you figure out the first step, of inviting them to do things with you? Are you supposed to pick up on cues or test the water, or just ask? Then how do you figure out the part of making it so they return it back? Then if they agree to do things with you a few times, then what? Then if people don't seem to return things back but are just polite, then what?

Maybe asking them to go to places is not the best move to make. Maybe you could figure out what kind of things they like to do so that you can reduce the chance of being rejected. But maybe if you find some aspies or some not very social people to hang out with, people with whom you mutually enjoy talking about things naturally, then you may have more chances of finding an activity partner. You have very good insight for an aspie (look at me making a compliment so just try to look for people who are not social animals and who are rather quiet and who are looking for friends.

I'm like you, Nick, it's hard to find people who like talking with me, but if you keep looking, some out there sure do!

Heh, I'm usually trying to figure out ways of getting out of things i'm invited to do =P.

Where do you work? Or do you work? The majority of people I've ever considered friends I met through jobs. Its just very natural for employees to go out after work, to a bar, to play pool, what ever. The situations present themselves.