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Gimmethecreeps
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19 Jun 2009, 11:03 am

Like it says I really can't just go to peoples houses or have them come to my apartment very often to just hang out. I kind of drift off inside of myself after awhile. I know everyone can sense there's something going on with me and then I just leave. I can't really be anywhere for more than 3 hours. That specific amount of time seems to be a reoccurring factor. I try to "appear normal" but my off putting sense of humor begins to seep through and I begin to get frantic, confused and angry. Side note- the number 3 has a great bit of power in my life.



Rainbow-Squirrel
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19 Jun 2009, 11:13 am

Gimmethecreeps wrote:
the number 3 has a great bit of power in my life.


I donìt know if it's true but I've heard the number 3 is quite recurrent in OCD, like you have to do thing 3 times or stuff like that.

Other than that I'm just the same you described.



Magneto
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19 Jun 2009, 11:24 am

I don't even get invited anywhere.

Possibly because no one can contact me. But the thing is, they can, it just takes a slight bit of effort.



Gimmethecreeps
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19 Jun 2009, 11:57 am

Rainbow-Squirrel wrote:
Gimmethecreeps wrote:
the number 3 has a great bit of power in my life.


I donìt know if it's true but I've heard the number 3 is quite recurrent in OCD, like you have to do thing 3 times or stuff like that.

Other than that I'm just the same you described.


It's true for me. I'm diagnosed OCD and three plays into things like checking door knobs, cracking my knuckles, opening and closing drawers and more. I'd hoped I'd find a similar case here. Thank you for replying.



Gimmethecreeps
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19 Jun 2009, 12:00 pm

Magneto wrote:
I don't even get invited anywhere.

Possibly because no one can contact me. But the thing is, they can, it just takes a slight bit of effort.


After awhile I make myself unavailable on purpose. I get the same thought about the minimal effort involved when I think about the few friends I have. It also seems that if I'm not there I get replaced by someone else. That's why I don't talk to my friends anymore. They've replaced me. This person even has the same first name as I do!



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19 Jun 2009, 12:46 pm

I used to have fun hanging out with friends but when I think back, whenever I hung out with friends we always got stoned. It made hanging out much easier. My kids play RPG games when they hang out together.


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Homer_Bob
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19 Jun 2009, 12:55 pm

I feel you, I never hang with anyone and even if people were to ask(which is rare) I'd always try to find a way out of it. I'm just not hanging out material, I'm too boring.



Gimmethecreeps
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19 Jun 2009, 1:09 pm

OregonBecky wrote:
My kids play RPG games when they hang out together.


Video games make it easier to hang out I find.


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Gimmethecreeps
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19 Jun 2009, 1:11 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
I feel you, I never hang with anyone and even if people were to ask(which is rare) I'd always try to find a way out of it. I'm just not hanging out material, I'm too boring.


I've always got an excuse at the ready basically. Being married makes it tough to avoid things like that but my wife is very understanding. I also feel boring. I really have nothing to say off the top of my head and I like talking about myself a little too much.


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activebutodd
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19 Jun 2009, 1:44 pm

Yeah, it's hard. I feel like I've been replaced a bit, because I don't see anyone a lot and it's such a huge effort to socialise that I can't seem to do it frequently or consistently.

Maybe you could have visits at a more comfortable length? Like tell your friend that you have something else to do and you have to go at x o'clock? That way you can see them but they don't stay so long that you get frazzled.
I find it a bit stressful when my friend that I rarely see wants to hang out for hours on end.

In addition to making it short, maybe you could also involve an activity so you don't overload on emotions and talking- or just do coffee so you don't have to run around lots of places? You'll know what works best for you.



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19 Jun 2009, 1:46 pm

I also don't know many people around me very well. The only person I do know well enough and can be in regular contact with (i.e. Messenger)... is also an Aspie.

One person. Oh well, two's company threes a crowd.



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19 Jun 2009, 1:50 pm

Find Something You All Enjoy. If Someone Invites You Round To Their Hiouse, Or You Bring Them Round To Yours, See What You Both Enjoy. If You've Both The Same Console, Or Same Games, Have A 2-Player Bash On That. Sometimes When Im Doing 2-Player On A Game, I Dont Even Know I Started Having A Conversation With My Partner Until About Halfway Through. If You Were To Play An RPG Game Like Fallout 3, Consider Your Choices Whether To Be Nasty To An NPc Or Nice, Then Ask The Aforementioned Friend.

As With OCD, (I Think Thats What You Said Made You Stay Only 3 Hours) I Believe That Can Sometimes Be OverCome. Try Start Out With Something Shady First. (Like If You Close A Drawer 3 Times Or Something, Open It, Close It, Then Leave The Room Without Doing Anything Else. Then Your Mind Should Apply This To All Things, Making It Second Nature To Do Things Once, Thus Making Things Easier.)

My Advice Is Usually Sh*t, But I Feel Ive Done Well.


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WillWasHere
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19 Jun 2009, 1:52 pm

I'm the same, people in my space drain me so quickly, and then they seem to leave. Oh for someone that is relaxed and happy when it gets silent and awkward...



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19 Jun 2009, 3:54 pm

I've never understood the urge to just "hang out." There doesn't seem to be any point to it.

Regards,

Patricia



Magneto
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19 Jun 2009, 4:20 pm

I presume the NTs feel uncomfortable without body language to understand what the other person is saying. Aspies don't have that issue, as they don't read or write body language, so it's all irrelevent to us. That being said, I'd like to be invited to 'hang out'. Maybe play poker, which I seem to be quite skilled at :wink:



Cicely
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19 Jun 2009, 4:46 pm

I have the same problem, but I can go for half an hour. A whole hour on a good day if there's not much background noise to deal with. Hanging out is draining. After a little while I just start to shut down and I need to go be alone and recharge. This is a problem in school, where people are expected to spend all their free time with friends. I couldn't get through the day if I was constantly socializing.