I don`t know whether to trust two of my relatives.

Post Reply New Topic

I don`t know whether to trust two of my relatives.<


I`m living with some relatives now and they all seem fair and nice and fun to talk to, even the two who have disturbing opinions. But I was scarred for life by those two because of their disturbing opinions. The last time I was here, my aunt said she owned her children and that they were her property. And my grandmother said she should burn my stuffed bears in the stove (and they weren`t hers to burn). Maybe she was too kind to do it, but she thought she was being a kind persopn by not doing it, when really it`s just being decent not doing it, because you shouldn`t do it. She also said that if her daughter dyed her hair blue she would forcefully cut her hair off. I don`t know if they still have those opinions. Should I ask them? This is a BIG part of why I don`t feel any loyalty to my blood relatives, and instead feel loyalty to the autistic community, because I know that autists respect individuals and their rights.

You say your living with relatives who are all nice except for two, why not ask your nicer relatives for advice I'm sure they know more than we do.

That's a good idea. I would freak out if someone said or did those things to me. Ask your other relatives what to do and avoid those two relatives if at all possible.

But other than that those two relatives are perfectly normal and fair and that... and I`m so glad you two are agreeing with me that what they did is freaky and unacceptable; I was afraid to look at the replies to this thread because I thought I might have gotten replies like "Well, they`re just trying to help you fit into society and every kid needs to do that to survive" or "Respect your elders" or "They mean well" or "Nobody owns themself; we are a collective and we all own each other".

I don't think you shoud take those opinions quite so literally. Unless they say these things often then they were probably just throw away comments that meant very little and if you asked them they wouldn't remember. I'm guessing you heard them say these things once? NTs don't have the uncommon recall for details like that that aspies do.

If you brought it up with other relatives they'd most likely wonder what on earth you are talking about and it would probably get back to the relatives you're not sure of, that wouldn't be a good thing for you.

Try and forget about it, realise that you can't choose your family like you can your friends and when it comes down to it they're all you've got. You don't have to like them or anything or even be around them much but there's no point making waves in your family situation for a couple of ignorant comments. Chances are you've said stuff that annoys or even offends them too.

The people on WP (and all autistics and people who consider themselves aprt of the autistic community because they respect the individuality of people) are all I`ve got. I trust them more because being autistic they respect the individual, unlike some or even all of my blood relatives, and so the people on WP (and all autistics and people who call themselves aprt of the autistic community because they respect the individuality of people) are my family and my friends and will respect me in that one way that I care about (my rights as an individual) and I don`t think they were throwaway comments my two relatives made... at least one of them (my grandmother) was dead serious when she said it, and debating with me. And there was something else I wanted to say about what the WP people (and all autistic people, actually) mean to me but I forgot it.