problem with a friend

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I am having a problem with a friend, he lives about 20-25 minutes from where I live, and he went to a computer summer camp that I have been going to for the past three summers. He worked on the staff, but he was a senior in high school this year, and I am a sophomore. Last summer, he gave me his phone number, email adress, and he accepted me as a friend on Facebook. He participated in wrestling, and he was also in many of the advanced classes in school, so he had a lot of homework, training, and meets to go to. When I call him on the phone or text message him I ask him if he is not busy and he wants to hang out, but he always says he's busy.

The thing about this is, that I don't think he is trying to avoid me, because if he was avoiding me then why would he give me all of his contact information? I think he is still my friend, but I don't know what to say about that "sorry, I'm busy, I can't hang out today" thing he always says. If someone really didn't want to be your friend, they would not give you their home phone number, email adress, accepted me as a friend on Facebook, their cell phone number, or their street adress.

I don't know what to think about him, and I am having trouble thinking about whether or not this person is my friend.

Sometimes people want to be friends, then change their minds because they find other friends that they have more in common with or they get busy, or they find a girl/boyfriend or some other thing.

Some people like to hand out their details freely and don't take it too seriously.

A close friend is usually someone who makes time for you and even if they have to say they can't "hang out today", they will often make an arrangement to meet some other time.

I would say that he hasn't taken the friendship as seriously as you have and is not encouraging you or avoiding you.

It could also be one of the following:

A) He really is just busy. You say that he is spending time to send you emails and text messages, so he's not ignoring you or cutting you out of his life. He's just, as you say, a senior and has a lot going on right now and very little free time.

B) He likes you but doesn't think you'll fit in well with his regular crowd. Maybe he usually hangs out with the jocks on his team who don't know he's also into computers. He could be worried that you would be uncomfortable with them and they with you, but he still wants to pursue friendships with both. A lot of people have different sets of friends for different interests.

C) He's less social than he likes to let on. I have plenty of people I like and theoretically would enjoy spending time with, but usually don't because when the occasion arises, I don't feel up to it.

Regards,

Patricia

I'm doing better at understanding who is my friend and who is not.

There was someone at my school who I thought was my friend, but it eventually turned out that he wasn't. This kid was in my grade, and he was also in a few of my classes in school last year. He talked to me online sometimes. For about two months, I would spend time talking to him online. At school one time I saw him and I asked him if he wanted to hang out, and he would give me a one word answer like "maybe." I asked him again a few days later and he gave me another one word answer, this time he said "no." I then asked him for his home phone number, but then he would give me an excuse like "I'm not allowed to give my home phone number because I get prank calls alot." I could tell after that he didn't give a damn about me.

The person I mentioned on this post has promised me that he would make time to hang out with me. I asked him for his cell and home phone numbers and he gave it to me, and he invited me to call him anytime I wanted to talk. Along with his home phone number, he gave me his email, street adress and accepted me as a friend on Facebook. I don't think someone would give you their contact information if they wanted absolutely nothing to do with you.

I heard from this person on Facebook the other day, and again, he told me that he would try to make time to try to spend time with me. He told me that he was extremely busy with school work and wrestling.

I know now that if someone does not want to be your friend, that it is not my problem, it's their problem.