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gina-ghettoprincess
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26 Jun 2009, 1:52 pm

OK, I thought the rule was supposed to be that you look at people when they talk to you, RIGHT?? So how come when some person in my class starts mumbling to me, and I turn round to look at them, they say, "What the hell are YOU staring at?" (I'm gonna start replying, "I'm not quite sure, I'll have to call the Museum Of Natural History to find out")

I know they're talking to me and not someone else because either there's nobody else around, or I was in the middle of an argument with that person anyway. What the hell is going on here?! :?

I also get accused of staring at people when I'm just staring at the wall or window behind them. They must be either very vain or very paranoid to think I would be the slightest bit interested in looking at them. :roll:

And sometimes if I just glance at someone for a single millisecond because they're in my way or something, they say I'm "staring" at them.

This whole situation is really pissing me off - if it weren't for school's stupid rules, I'd wear dark glasses all the time so they can't see where my eyes are looking.


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Starrsy
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26 Jun 2009, 2:09 pm

I Would Solve This Kind Of Problem With A Fight. Someone Says "The F*ck Are YOU Looking At?" You Just State Some REALLY Mouthy Reply ("Your Mum, Motherf*cker) And Then Fight Them. The More You Hurt Them And Leave Long Lasting Effects On Their Body, The Better. (Long Lasting Effects Are Bruises, Cuts, Dodgy Ankles, Bumps, The Like) More Sensibly, Argue With Words, Talk Your Way Out Of It. (It May Not Work for you, As I Have A Way With Words.)


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Peko
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26 Jun 2009, 2:18 pm

Their just being jerks. I had that problem too, I even got my IEP done so I could wear dark glasses in school (my mom only let me do this for awhile though). I got it for "sensitivity to fluorescent lights". I have it, but its only bad when I'm stressed (was in school/not all day). I'm so glad I graduated! :D


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cubedemon6073
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26 Jun 2009, 2:38 pm

Starrsy wrote:
I Would Solve This Kind Of Problem With A Fight. Someone Says "The F*ck Are YOU Looking At?" You Just State Some REALLY Mouthy Reply ("Your Mum, Motherf*cker) And Then Fight Them. The More You Hurt Them And Leave Long Lasting Effects On Their Body, The Better. (Long Lasting Effects Are Bruises, Cuts, Dodgy Ankles, Bumps, The Like) More Sensibly, Argue With Words, Talk Your Way Out Of It. (It May Not Work for you, As I Have A Way With Words.)


Starrsy, if you do this when you turn into an adult at 18 you will eventually end up in prison possibly for aggravated assault. Guess what dude? The motherf***ers in prison are worse motherf***ers than the motherf***ers you're dealing with now. My advice is do not ever ever throw the first punch.



cubedemon6073
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26 Jun 2009, 2:47 pm

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
OK, I thought the rule was supposed to be that you look at people when they talk to you, RIGHT?? So how come when some person in my class starts mumbling to me, and I turn round to look at them, they say, "What the hell are YOU staring at?" (I'm gonna start replying, "I'm not quite sure, I'll have to call the Museum Of Natural History to find out")

I know they're talking to me and not someone else because either there's nobody else around, or I was in the middle of an argument with that person anyway. What the hell is going on here?! :?

I also get accused of staring at people when I'm just staring at the wall or window behind them. They must be either very vain or very paranoid to think I would be the slightest bit interested in looking at them. :roll:

And sometimes if I just glance at someone for a single millisecond because they're in my way or something, they say I'm "staring" at them.

This whole situation is really pissing me off - if it weren't for school's stupid rules, I'd wear dark glasses all the time so they can't see where my eyes are looking.


Gina be careful with what you say. Some of them in your school are probably those with anti-social tendencies and they may hurt you bad. By the time you get to high school things will change. The students will be more sophisticated and will ostrasize and ignore you. This is how the school's social scene works. At least here it does. Another piece of advice that I want to share with both you and starrsy is to pick and choose your battles wisely. It could end up in a pyrrhic victory. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrrhic_victory



waltur
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26 Jun 2009, 3:18 pm

most of the time if someone's mumbling at you after an argument it's because their saying something insulting. likely, they're mumbling just loud enough for you to hear. when you turn around and they say "what are you looking at?" it's loud enough for everyone to hear, so it looks like you're being the aggressive one or at least make you look weird so they can make fun of you more.

a fight's really not going to get you very far unless you win. even then, depending on how it set up, what others might see is you two having an argument, then "what are you looking at?" and the fight. if you lose, you look like you started a fight and lost. if you win, you look like you started a fight just to beat him up.

if someone's not willing so say something to your face, they're not worth listening to.

alternatively, you can always just give a quiet chuckle at their lameness. this will sometimes case escalation because it's quietly returning the insult.



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26 Jun 2009, 3:34 pm

[b]Rule of etiquette, and my rule, first of all is never to say 'f' or what the f . To answer the staring thing: Because many people nowadays are very sensitive and angry ,angry.. so they react by thinking someone is staring when they are not.



Ruchard
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26 Jun 2009, 5:51 pm

this is why i stay inside all the time.



paddy26
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26 Jun 2009, 6:40 pm

I think you should try not to let it get to you. Most of the time they are looking for a reaction. Find something else to do to take your mind off it.



elderwanda
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26 Jun 2009, 8:51 pm

Once when I was in high school, we were just finishing up some kind of assembly and waiting to be dismissed. Some girl, surrounded by her tough-looking girl friends came ambling up to me and said, "You got some kind of problem!? You'd better stop staring at me!!" and that kind of thing. I had never seen any of these people in my entire life. I don't think I had even been zoning out and staring into space. I've always been the type to avoid confrontation, and I didn't know what to do, because these girls were bigger than me, and pretty scary. They threatened to beat me up if I ever looked in their direction again. It shook me up pretty bad, and I was afraid to go to school for a few days.

People can be very confusing.



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27 Jun 2009, 1:12 pm

When they say you're staring at them, don't permit any change of expression, look them right in the eye, raise and eyebrow, and say in a rather cold, indifferent voice: "I wasn't staring at you." or "I got the impression that you were talking to me."

When I do that, people absolutely lose themselves.

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GoatOnFire
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28 Jun 2009, 2:01 am

Maybe you have the 'aspie eyes'. We look too intensely at others if we try eye contact so they take it wrong. My advice is that when you are trying to give eye contact, don't look at their eyes. Look at their forehead, supposedly they can't tell it's not actual eye contact but it won't be a piercing glare.


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CaptainTrips222
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28 Jun 2009, 7:55 am

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:


And sometimes if I just glance at someone for a single millisecond because they're in my way or something, they say I'm "staring" at them.



Ah, adolescences. What it sounds like they're doing is, they're turning into a mob, and taking the least little glance as an excuse to **** with you. It's sort of like a running gag to keep antagonizing you. It's not easy dealing with this kind of bullying, but I'd avoid eye contact at all prices. If they ask you again, tell me them "I ain't ******* staring at you, and stop asking."

As for physical fighting, try and avoid it if you can. If it comes down to that, I wish you luck, but if you lose a fight things get worse after that. I wish you the best.