An old friend ignoring me, but is she a jerk?

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For the past 13 years, I had been going back and forth with a friend who had chosen a set of guys over me and because she was jealous of me. She and I even went into sessions of not speaking to each other for at least 2-3 years at a time. When we reunited, things looked fine at first but she continued to led me around friend wise but she and her mother would constantly humiliate me about how thin I was and that my time was coming where I would become overweight. They would also make really sick comments about vegetarians lost their breasts because they became too thin. She had even stolen things from me before and pretended that she didn't know where things were.


She would also slip back into a phase of not speaking to me and not following through on commitments because she was going out with her boyfriends.

Long story short, I haven't seen her in 8 years because of a major fight between her and her mother. Ever since, she has been ignoring me and I feel like I am the one doing all the calling.
Last Wednesday, I had also called her on her cell phone and left a message wishing her happy birthday. However, she never retrieved the call and I was a little hurt.

Should I try to contact her again? What should I do to express how I feel?

Miyah

You do as you do with anything els rotten in your presens, you throw it away.

You haven't seen her in 8 years? There is no garentee the number is still the same. Forget about her.

I've had friends like this in my life too. They stole things from me, and until the next day they came up with it. they used me for my computer, they made fun of me.

This is what you should do

The girl doesn't like you, she has problems of her own, she's stupid, jealous, and again doesnt like u and doesnt wanna be bothered with you. she's not real, she's fony, fake, and shady from what i hear.

so f**k her. she's just another person, your life will go on without her

its better to have good friends, then those who treat you bad. but for some reason many people including NTs feel that they need the person who treats them like s**t. No way Jose. stop emailing her now, forget about her (not literally because you still remember her) and let her and the things she did to you go.

she's a fony, flakey, person, that doesnt like herself, therefore she doesnt like you, and you should leave her alone

Here are the steps to deal with all life situations and/ or emotions. No matter what situation or emotion.

Let's say you feel anger.

Ask yourself these questions in order:

1. What is happening?
2. Why is it happening? (Lone eave this question until you are done with the entire process).
3. How do I feel about what's happening?
4. Why do I feel this way?
5. Should I feel this way? (The most important question of all).
6. Would my life be any different if I had a negative or positive feeling about the situation?
7. Why is this happening (If you get back to this question then you are f****d).

Thanks for the great advice about the emotions. However, Number 7 is a little unprofessional.

I think I am feeling angry with her because the two of us were close before teen-hood. However, things changed so abruptly that it disrupted our friendship. At a birthday camping weekend, her mother let her boyfriend sleep in the same tent with us. In the meantime, she either ignored me and talked to him and his friend or made fun of me for being different.

One year later, she and I stopped calling each other for 2 and a half years. In 1999, out of the blue, I heard from her and she would manipulate me when I tried to talk to her. It was "Can you call me back in the next 5 minutes? I have....xyz. It eventiually led to more of her ignoring me, and I calling and pranking her on the phone because didn't was acting like that.

Several months later, she called me looking for sympathy saying," I'm really sorry for being a jerk." So, I found out that she was pregnant and was using me for that.



I know how I feel towards her it's just that it bothers me that she acts like that towards me.

I am trying to figure that out.

It is 8 years ago. The only thing you need to do is put it out of your mind.. That is what she has done.

See there you go with number 7 again. "I'm trying to figure that out" that is the same as . "Why is this happening".....dont go there, you will never figure out why. Even if she tells you why, how would u know its true. you are not her. I can tell someone that they annoy me, but they never know, for all they know I can be deeply in love with them.

There is no "why", she just seems random, but if her mom was pathological too that may explain some things.

I have learned that forgiving is not the same as forgetting. In other words, move on, realize you are better (much better) without her in your life, and maybe even a better person for having had the experience.

Keeping a diary helped me a LOT because it helped me note the early stages of pathological "friendships" (I mean emotionally abusive relationships) before they got out of hand/ too emotionally involved.

Relationship abuse can happen with friends too, not just "lover, boyfriend, husband" whatever.

River Otter,
I used to do that. This girl is diffinately abusive, toxic, and a phoney. I mean, she is 25 years old and she hasn't changed since she was 12. However, I have now friends who truly are interested in me.

If you knew all this, why did you ask? ^^

If someone was like that to me, I would pretend they didnt exist, and if they set foot on my property, I would tell em to get the he11 off of my property before I call the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) and press charges for trespassing and theft (if it can be proven via legal means), and if they continue to come on my property without permission, they will be greeted by a pitbull named Misty.

forget about her, the only thing people are good for is dissapointment

No! Why would you contact a person like her?? She sounds horrible?



If I were you and she called I'd say "go f**k yourself and never call me again".

This has to be the first sound piece of advice I've read so far. It's true- your friend is horrible. Abusive? Check. Manipulative? Check. Does not reciprocate? Check. Lies to you? Check. Takes you for granted? Check. Phony? etc etc

There don't seem to be any good points in the relationship whatsoever.