Conversations

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This, according to someone I spoke to on Messenger who I don't know very well (but I have met them; she's my friends cousin), is how to start a conversation:

1. Say hello
2. Ask them about themselves, their family, interests etc
3. Once you've done this, you'll hopefully know enough of their interests to hold a conversation

No.3 is the point at which my conversations tend to failm, due to not having anything in common with the person - no shared interests. When we do have a shared interest, however...

...they are not nearly as obsessed with that interest as you are and they think you are some kind of freak and look at you as such.

I'd be weirded out if someone came up to me and did that. I'd wonder why they are asking me all these questions, and what they want. If it was at a social gathering (not that I'd be at a social gathering where I don't know people, but hypothetically speaking...) then I would assume that the person was just feeling pressure to mingle. I mean, if I'm in a situation where people don't know me at all, but we are socially expected to bombard them with personal questions, then chances are I won't ever see them again anyway. If I'll be seeing the person on a regular basis (new co-worker, mom who brings her kid to the same playground) then there isn't so much pressure to fire away with the annoying questions.

Then again, I have no friends and haven't had a social conversation with an adult aside from my husband, mother, and father since 2008. So, I suppose my wisdom about social things isn't necessarily the thing to follow.



I hear that. I have found that the more I interact with people, the lonelier I feel. That's because when when get to know each other, I start getting that sinking feeling that this is yet another person who I don't click with, and who I can't really talk with.

For me, number 2 is the hardest. If I don't already know someone, I don't care about their family, their job, their interests, etc, therefore, the conversation is not at all interesting for me.

yeah i did those things....yeah basically it works for me...i'v been experimenting those stuff and plus i love to know about people.... but it's just sometimes...i act too weird in front of people i guess...that's why they think i must've kind nof ret*d....but hey who cares...at least i know how to fix it now....

i act more modest.....yeah....

try to act a bit more modest...i guess....control your energy and brain....

it's starting to work for me...by the way hi...i'm a newbie...don't mind jumping in the conversations?...

Also, I'm not sure if it's an Aspie thing or not, but I don't like talking about myself. I don't like talking about my job, I generally don't like talking about my hobbies/interests, I don't really have any friends or other circumstances to talk about so once that person starts asking me questions, that's another way to kill a conversation.

Maybe it's my delivery, but when I ask people what their interests are, they tend to stare at me blankly...

That *could* be because they don't have any, such as in the case of one person I no. Correction: her interest was 'shooping', for 'anything that looks nice'. Such is the flaw of out consumerist culture.