Why do NTs think being mean to aspies will 'fix' them?

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Well, I don't just mean AS, I mean everything. Any sort of difference or even 'handicap', or just plain nerdery. Why do NTs think that beating up or otherwise abusing such people is a good idea? DO they think that they are fixing the people, and that abuse of some kind will somehow get them to change?

I choose to respond to your subject line and not to the sweeping statement about all nerds and physically/mentally disabled people.

This evolved socially because it works on other NTs. They are punished by the group through ostracism or cruel words/actions until they mend their ways and become a part of the group again. With AS, we operate outside of group norms (not 'above' or 'below' but outside) and do not catch these signals. We are completely unable to (instinctually) respond appropriately. We can learn how, but must make an effort to do so.

So, (in general) the mean treatment will continue until you can figure out what it is they unconsciously want you to change.

NOTE: This is not talking about a situation of bullying by one or a handful of people. If you are experiencing this, this should be reported and dealt with. This opinion is purely to address the objective issue of why this behavior has evolved and what purpose it serves.

I can't speak for any other handicap - in fact, i think people are generally more tolerant of a handicap they can see. If you have a prosthetic limb or are in a wheelchair, they can see your limitations.

It seems to me that those of us whose handicaps are internal and not visible on the surface, get treated like crap because others assume that we're as capable as they are and just being difficult, obstinate or lazy. In fact, they don't actually BELIEVE that we have a handicap.

My wife works with Alzheimer's patients every day. She know more about Alzheimer's than most doctors, and is endlessly patient and compassionate with it's victims. But she has only a superficial aquantiance with Asperger Syndrome and no interest in learning. She bullies and verbally abuses me on a regular basis and is constantly saying things like "And you can't blame that on Asperger's"(which BTW, I have never done). the truth is:

A) She doesn't know enough about AS to be qualified to make such a judgment.

B) Since AS is an Atypical Brain Function, it colors literally every aspect of an Aspie's life - from the way we view and comprehend the world around us, to the ways and the extent to which we learn to cope with our limitations functioning in that world. So if I chose, I could quite legitimately attribute virtually everything I do to AS.

Bottom line is, she can see her Alzheimer's residents struggling with their limitations from moment to moment. Since I appear to function reasonably well most of the time, I don't appear to have a problem, therefore I DON'T have a problem. If I don't do something the way she expects - I AM the problem. I must be pi**ing her off on purpose!

To my mind, this is the biggest handicap we have - other people who refuse to accept that we have a handicap.

I don't think NTs are mean to aspies to fix them. Aspies are easy prey for them to target on and also make them feel bigger.

I think people do assume that being mean or abusive will fix a person. They assume it's a matter of conditioning, discipline and choice. They also do not wish to be burdened or inconvenienced themselves by someone's issues.

Even those who have known of my AS or anxiety issues have done it. For example, I become extremely fatigued at some point every day, where my functioning decreases. If someone happened to be around at that time, instead of being ignored or assisted, I would get tutted at, eye roles, told to be more normal and less silly, told that I was exaggerating and imagining things, and one would tell me I was doing it deliberately to be horrible to them (and this particular person would proceed to punish me).

They feel uncomfortable of the fact that we don't think or act the same way they do and therefore they fear that difference and are unaware of how we will act or respond.Because we differ from them, they feel threatened and feel the need to "put us in our place"...

We are easy targets...many of us are not as good in the social skills department and therefore dont have many friends to stand up and defend us.

They have no empathy, yet they complain how we don't have it....they are hypocrites...

thats just a few i could come up with at the moment.