Party on the 4th

Post Reply New Topic

I am going to a fourth of july party at a frat house (it is not strictly for members, and I know about 5 people that are definately going and a couple people who might but aren't sure). Last year, I swung by but couldn't find anyone that I know and was uncomfortable just walking up to random people while they are just hanging out and bonding, but at the same time, I want to meet new people and have fun. Even though I know some of the people that are going, I don't feel comforable with asking them to go with me and introduce me to people. I've pretty much made up my mind that I will go. I need tips on how to make it enjoyable for me and how to make others think of me as a cool guy to hang out with. I am self-confident but when no one seems to take an interest in me at a party, it become difficult for me.

...The reference to " frathouse " reminds me about how I'm dowm that I never got to " go to college " .

Come on, I know that you guys are smart. If we put our heads together, we can figure out a solution. Hopefully, it will not only benefit me but anyone whoo wants to go to a big party in the future. I need to RSVP soon so please send tips so I will be more confident before I do so.

Yikes. Personally, I can't ever imagine having fun at a frat party. Bars are more fun, but not by much. I went to two frat parties during college and they were both extremely awful experiences, and I went with friends. I was a wall flower the entire evening.

One of the evenings, I did have one girl approach me because she thought I was a security guard, presumably because of my total lack of interest in everything around me. She wanted me to do something about a few guys peeing in the corner.

Seriously, though... I would say just stick close to your friends. If they happen to know some people there, you might get introduced. If you have fun, great... but I wouldn't be too disappointed if you don't. But hey, maybe you will. Not everyone is like me.

I was in a frat for awhile. It was too socially demanding for me but you should be OK for going to some of their parties. You might be OK to join too...hell, I don't know.

The best tip I can give is learn how to play beer pong (google it). It's a given that they will be playing it. I didn't drink beer so I just drank a self-made mix drink instead. They were OK with this...it didn't matter. You can mix your drink incredibly weak so you don't get sick and stupid. If they insist on pouring you a drink (hard liquor), let them. Nurse it slowly....then when you make occasional trips to the bathroom you can pour some of it down the toilet. LOL. That's what I did.

If you talk to a frat bro and run out of things to say just ask about the frat and what they do etc. (Even if your not interested in joining, they love to talk about that stuff. Camping trips etc.). They will have a bunch of pictures etc they will talk forever about.

When I went to parties they had a Wii too. It helped to be a part of some activity so the pressure is off of socializing.

Thanks, especially to Jaydog. That said, I should point out that this will not be a typical frat party. Some parents and alum will be around and it's a big event so cops will be every where so I doubt there will be A LOT of drinking at least not outside. Keep the tips coming guys.

It may be lower key with parents around. They might play the Beer Pong with rootbeer.

Wear something up-to-date. No, it doesn't have to be A&F. It's stereotypical that all frat guys wear that but in my case it wasn't true. The main thing is that you feel good in what you wear. This will give you confidence and you will attract more people around you.

Good luck.

I treat these sort of social environments like bungee jumping. The pure-stranger environment is a rough start. It's nice to have familiarty with some of the people there. In a college environment, know some people there and which classes they are in. I socialize in a work environment, and listen over time for interests that people have, and go from there (if my interests match). I try to absorb facts about people to leverage conversation down the road.

I would assume you have some idea of what sort of people are going there, and what they may be interested in.

This are my two steps to prepare, by no means a solution for everyone:
-Go in prepared with things to talk about (a wide range of topics you have some knowledge about, Wikipedia in advance? )
-Listen to what people are talking about, I don't know when it is appropriate to barge into a conversation, but if there are 3-4 people engaged, it isn't a bad time to sweep in with a comment and see how it works

Once prepared, jump in and do it, or run in fear. I go either way depending on how people are reacting.

You just have to poke around and see what topics work for various people, never simple, but when you find something in common it can actually be quite fun for short periods of time.

When it becomes overwhelming or exhausting, try to recognize the signs and find an excuse to leave early before shutting down if that ever happens to you. It leaves things on a positive note for a return visit. I always have my cell phone on vibrate, so a fake received call works for me (yeah, it's a lie, but better than walking out of a conversation abruptly).