Over re-acting

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One of my bigest faults is one that does not come up all too often, but when it does, it causes big problems. I have gotten alot better with social skills over the years, but sometimes my relationships can be dramaticaly changed because of my overreacting to situations. For example, today, I was with a friend who asked to take a sip of my drink. For sanitary and other reasons I said no. When I wasn't looking he did it anyway. I know that he was just joking, but it really pissed me off (there is only one person that I can think of who could have done that without upsetting me). Anyway, we were about 10-15 miles from his house and I told him to get out and walk home. He said he wasn't getting out and I almost called the cops to remove him. Luckly, he offered to buy me a new drink and it didn't go any further. We ended up having a good time later in the night. But incidents like this come up in my life and I hate it because people usually have a good impression of me and then something like this happens. I know at the time that I am overreacting so it's not one of those stop and count to ten solutions, but I am so pissed that I don't care what the consequences are until I am suffering them. HELP.

I had an issue today where I had somewhat of a mini meltdown after going sailing my partner, Flakey pointed at a short heavy set lady wearing a wide brimmed hat and said that she was built kind of like i am. It managed to really really upset me...because I didn't think I looked like that..no offense to her..but by saying that, he seemed to be implying that I am much larger than I think I am.....Even though he was not trying to offend me, his comment made me really upset for several hours...I have been slightly overweight for most of my life...not obese...and while I am comfortable with it most of the time, there are times when I feel overly sensitive to the way society seems to place more value on women who are tall and thin...something I will never be...and his saying that started a pretty bad negative chain reaction with me....even though he was not trying to offend me.

It's tough to change that, Asperges. Your best bet might be to befriend people who are as understanding as your buddy was. It might also help to explain why you did it after the fact. Referencing a social difficulty could increase trust between you because you are revealing a weakness.

You could also bring up that you don't feel that way NOW and that the same difficulty that makes you overreact also gives you a special ability to "drop it" and really mean it -- without it impacting your future feelings or actions.

If we're similar, then you've also had the experience where there are BIG things happening that some people get really ticked off about whereas you can just move through the situation as calm as a boat on a clear lake. But someone sips your drink and BAM, baby, it's ON! As for me, I blame my mom for my germophobia

@P.L.Stuffing: Flakey is 100% stud if he is looking at another woman and STILL thinking of you! Great guy

I used to be more like this although I wouldn't have gone as far as to call the police. I think it is because you interpret his disrespect for you in that instance to mean he disrespects you completely. I had a therapist who told me again and again that I could choose to let things go and finally I tried it and discovered backing down isn't as soul destroying as you might think. It's about pride really. But I do know how you feel.

NT's seem to like pushing peoples' button for the fun of it. Many times when they do so, they are not being malicious. I wish I could be NT for about 3 months so that I could understand how they think.

Thanks, ViperaAspis. Does anyone else have advise, not anecdotes, but advise?

One must try to focus on not letting things get out of hand...and it can be hard when something has rattled your chains...I guess self-awareness of a tendency to overreact is a start....

Sometimes I just cannot avoid giving a reaction, it just has to come out!
But I am getting better. Sometimes I look back at my day and try to analyse my different reactions. Try to recognize some signs. One of the things I learned to ignore certain behaviour. Downside is that some people see me as a 'cooled down' person.

When my band was on tour, the main reason for the majority of mass-meltdowns we would have while on the road was due to upset over flippantly-made comments that managed to tick people off...probably way more than they should have.
We had a huge arguement while driving down a treacherous icy freeway Ohio having something to do with debating the existence of ghosts that resulted in half the car screaming at the other half of the car, while the other half did nothing to quell the meltdown-level outrage of the half that was yelling and upset...but push more buttons.....(that's what you get with a band full of spectrumy people )

the problem with me is that i have this phobia towards crowds... even 4 people around me freaks me out like anything and i feel my heart jumping as if it wants to burst.
and another thing is i was despised eversince i'm small and people called me "geek", "nerd", "lame", "loser", "jerk" and lots more... seems that i'm totally different =.=

These posts are about "friends" disrespecting a person's wishes, or in the instance of the "you look like her" thing, taking potshots in order to control or push buttons. Maybe I am just hopeless in my view that if that if learning to take things like that is what I need to do in order to have people in my life, then I welcome being alone.
I am beginning to think the AS thing has so much to do with having an independent spirit, an internal compass that allows us to disregard popular opinion to do what we feel is right, whereas nts are driven by the mob mentality and need to "change" someone who comes along because independence of that strength makes them feel weak.
Mob mentality is what has allowed so many atrocities in history, from the holocaust to mothers allowing their children to be molested and abused rather than rock the boat.
But I did say I was hopeless didn't I?