How sick is this kid?

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I was looking out my window and noticed a group of neighborhood kids playing around a construction site. They are renovating the apartment complex I live in. Two of the kids are brothers and are friends of my son. The older one is socially insecure and is perceived as weak. Two kids I didn't know and another is a frequent troublemaker. The older of the two brothers really wants to be accepted into this "cool" group of bad boys. I watched them horse around-one was trying to tip over the portable toilet. My attention must have been diverted because the next thing I knew, I couldn't see Kevin (the older brother) but I could hear his pitiful cries from inside the portable toilet. One of the kids had taken heavy wire and wrapped it several times around the John trapping Kevin inside. He then took a stick and was tightening the cord. I went out there called the kid an as*hole to his face and demanded he undo the wire. He was actually unable to, he had to slide the cord down. Then he ran away with the others. It had to be over 90 degrees outside. Do you think this kid is ignorant or just vicious?

That's awful. But that kind of sociopathic abuse is by no means uncommon among kids/teens (you didn't mention how old these kids are). To them, it's just a bit of a "laugh", a bit of fun. I went to a terrible school when I was younger, where kids would start massive fights on the playground just for "fun". Did the teachers care? Did they hell.

The kid in question is about 10-11. The truly sad thing was when Kevin got out he started to try to run and catch up with the "gang" because he still wants so much to be accepted by them.

I remember when my brother was that age, he used to hang around with the most obnoxious gang of kids. They were all beating each other up all the time, and whenever my brother came home being all, "So and So hit me," I was like, "Why do you still play with him after however many times he's done that to you?" He never had an answer.

I wonder if he was planning on leaving Kevin in there?

I don't know. I've often wondered when kids do things like that, are they going to stop before the "joke" goes too far? The sad thing is that the kids who do these things aren't the sort who I would trust to know the meaning of "the joke has gone too far".

true.

It's a good thing you went out there and put a stop to it, anyway, if nobody had done anything the kid might have just left Kevin in there.

I think at 10 a lot of kids haven't learned to figure out consequences of their actions yet. Like locking someone in a portapotty and leaving them could result in death for the victim. Not necessarily sociopathic... it depends on whether or not there's anyone around to teach them.

Good you were there. Poor Kevin. Maybe you could show him some alternatives? Introduce him to some other kids?

That's a hot topic. Kevin is no saint. He and my son have been friends since D was starting kindergarten and K was starting 1st grade. K's mother told me D was K's first real friend and that she had wondered if K had Asperger's. K has some AS characteristics but he is far more socially adept than D. There have been a few instances where in a group of kids, if D is teased and mocked then K will not stand by him. He has even told other kids that the only reason he is friends with D is because of his video games. I know this is not true. I know that K is actually very emotionally dependent on D but I also know how devastating it was for D to hear that. I've told D that K just didn't have the courage to stand up to the other guys. I see what K is doing. He is hoping if he hangs out with the bad boys it will buffer him from abuse by other groups. But it seems like he is to be the abused mascot. I'm glad he and D have their friendship-they can be totally themselves around each other. Also K's younger brother is as far as I can tell, a girl through and through. I mean that seriously and not judgmentally. He is a girl. I think he is facing rough times ahead.

While I'd consider it very mean, I wouldn't consider it too sick, particularly considering stories I've heard from older people about things that used to be routine "practical jokes" back in the 50s and 60s. It would be sick if he tipped it over with the kid inside. Merely locking in him in it, while potentially dangerous when looked at from an adult's perspective, is mean but not intended to cause lasting harm. It's bullying, most certainly, but it's certainly nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

The kid may not have realized that locking someone in a extremely hot, bacteria laden atmosphere could be harmful. It's wrong anyway you look at it. His intention was to make K feel humiliated and powerless. You can always find worse behavior but I don't think you can excuse abuse that way. Like the guy that beats his wife-(but at least he doesn't beat his kids)