Adult Teasing/Bullying

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How do you deal with teasing as an adult? I had situations in my life where bullying persisted in my adulthood. Good grief, I thought those days were over with. When I worked for a company that required a specific uniform someone would always steal it from my cubby and put it somewhere else. Then I would spend forever trying to track it down. It would piss me off even though I wouldn't show it. It never ended, I thought if I just ignored it then it would go away but I kept retrieving my work outfit. You would think they would stop after they discovered that they didn't get a rise out of me. After all, what's the point if you don't see a reaction (isn't that what they are looking for?). So my main way of dealing with adult teasing/bullying is just ignoring it. I don't think this is the right approach. I don't work at that place anymore but I will probably come across another as*hole.

Also, my aunt has been dealing with teasing from her son-in-law and she is SO sick of it. She has mentioned a couple of times when he has hurt her feelings but he ends up doing it again. I think he actually dislikes her (probably for how she raised his wife) but his teasing seems like a excuse to hurl crap at her all the time. He doesn't treat anyone else nasty in the family. She doesn't know how to handle it anymore. She tries to hurl stuff back at him but it just goes back and forth. How should she handle a situation like this?

i'm not sure how she should handle it. sounds like he isn't going to stop. do you think it would help her to recognize that his behavior is harmful and not a reflection of who she is?

i still experience some bullying as an adult (although not as overt.) mostly it has to do with my general "tics" and social confusion/awkardness. people think i'm "odd." i tend to experience severe gossiping as bullying. i hate it. i hate even more how confusing it is because the gossipers are often "nice" to your face and it just leads to even more confusion.

@#$%! that's all i have to say.

If it happens at work you must report it to your supervisor and if that does not work speak with someone hirer up.

As far as your Aunt... well my biological father used to harass my grandmother a ridiculous amount. One day he would not stop tickling her so she bit him on the ear so hard that he bled. I am NOT suggesting that your Aunt do that of course. However she should put down boundaries. If he cannot behave she has every right to tell him he must leave her house. If he cannot act like an adult she should tell your cousin that he is no longer welcome there and exactly why.

That would just cut her off from her daughter and any grandchildren.

If they live close enough, you can have them over for a little while, now and then, one at a time. If they're too far away, it's all or nothing.

I've had comparable problems, and I never win.

ps: about ignoring the bullying. it doesn't work. it only gets worse. if their intentions are malicious (and not just an attempt at "friendly" teasing), it may be necessary to confront it in some way. if you're afraid to talk to the people engaging in these actions, maybe you could discuss it with a supervisor and ask if there's some kind of policy about harassment and bullying.

Thank you! It's good to hear that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I have a situation at work where I know for a fact that certain people are gossiping among themselves and saying nasty things about me to each other and to my boss, but they act all sweet and friendly to my face. They even left balloons and stuff at my desk for my birthday -- this after I had found out that they were complaining to my boss about me and had confronted one of them about it. We used to go to lunch together once every other week. Now, I don't want to associate with them outside of work any more, but I don't know how to tell them that and maintain any kind of working relationship. I tried to beg off of this week's lunch and they changed it to next week so I could be there. It's very confusing.

My method is to cut them out of my life immediately and permantly. Family members included. Then confront any people that know the perpatrator and myself and give them a choice of the perpatrator in their life of me. So I get one degree of separation.

I dont have much family left and quiet fankly its been better.