When you know certain people

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Can you tell when they are upset or mad or angry or when they are joking, etc?

Sometimes when you know someone well, you can read them after while because you learn the patterns in them.


I can tell when my husband gets upset because his voice changes. It gets high pitched when he talks. One time I said to him I love it when his voice changes into that tone and he said it does that when he is upset so I learned that cue. When his voice does that high pitch when he talks, it means he is upset. I think that's the only thing I can read in him.

He had to tell you about it. You thought it was cute, and you never would have known the correct interpretation if he hadn't told you about it. I also believe it's easier to read people after I get to know them, otherwise, I'm totally clueless.

^^ I believe this is perhaps why I am very worried about my diagnosis of High Functioning Autism, as I believe I may detect these matters very quickly. ^^ My father is often very angry, yet I believe I can see this when he has not said that he is angry. Often he states thats he is not angry, yet at a later time states that he was angry at that time. I believe when angry, he sighs very heavily a says naughty comments to Nell and Plato (my kitties). I believe I may also sense this with my mother and sister and brother, and may conversely sense when they appear happy. ^^ I believe my happy mother and brother and sister have been diagnosed with depression I believe (however perhaps for my sister this may be anxiety) and thus they often appear very unhappy and I may see this I beleive when they are unhappy.

^^ Alas I must say that I am not certain which happy actions to take when they are unhappy. However I am very worried for my diagnosis as I may sense these matters. I am sorry for being silly.

When I think someone is angry or sad I say "_____ is mad"... most of the time I'm wrong though. I just go by tone of voice and think about how they might feel in the situation.

I've actually studied this mathematically to some extent. When I first get to know someone, I pay attention to their baseline manner of expression, including pitch of voice, frequency of use of curse words or other invective, speed of speech, amount of gesticulation, etc.

After several weeks of observation, I can more easily detect variations in the person's self-expression, and then assign probable emotional states.

Alternatively, I can rely on the NT tendency to overt self-expression when upset. For instance, "I'm so f*****g pissed at you, Aoi, that I could rip you limb from limb" is a strong suggestion that the person is angry. Being hit or having objects thrown at me are similarly useful clues.

The above is not meant to be humorous. All these events have happened repeatedly in the past five years. Fortunately, the happen quite rarely.

So I rely on my little mathematical model, and when that is insufficient, as often happens, I simply ask what the person is feeling.