Talk too fast.

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Does anyone have the problems with not being able make a comment in conversations with large groups of people or even in small groups; if u just happen to be with people that talk fast. I have problems with going with the flow of conversation sometimes cause people talk too fast. Sometimes I dont know when its appropriete timing to insert a comment. The flow of conversations will go back and forth, pretty soon there goes the chance to insert that comment I've been waiting to say for the last 5 min because the conversation has taken a turn. People are no longer on that subject matter. It can get annoying, this was even a problem that was in the aspie group I was in last year. I was hard to get a word in. I dont know if its partially a cultural thing cause where Im from; people dont talk that fast.

Absolutely.
And I'm probably not from the same place you are, to address that aspect of the matter.

Yeah. Especially in large groups or noisy rooms. Also when my one cousin speaks she talks so fast my mother, brother & cousins barely understand what she's saying. Though she's improved since she's gotten older. Sounds like a pile of mush when people talk to fast to me. How can you decipher what mashed potato or other goo like speech means?

i knowww, and then you finally get a comment in and they turn to look at you like you have horns sprouting from your head. Or it's followed by an awkward silence. yet if it were anyone else who'd done so they'd just integrate the outside comment into the conversation and bring the other person into it.

at times it almost seems like unconscious discrimination. it's not their fault really, but it's not really mine either because i'm not trying to have it go that way. it's just what seems to happen.

Completely! The worst is when you make a comment and everyone ignores you and then someone else makes the same comment and it becomes the new topic of discussion. This always puts me in a bad mood and makes we want to scream WTF.

Very frustrating indeed.

This is often a problem for me as well. Sometimes when one person in the group can tell that I am tryng to say something, they will either start their own conversation with me allowing me to continue or they will say that I had something to say and make everyone listen. Try to find people that can do this.

Who else can think of ideas to help rather than just saying, oh yeah me too (which is fine, but I think that we have established that many people with AS have that problem; that info doesn't do us any good unless we figure out what to do about it now).

I agree asperges.

Its also important to not let people speak for you.

Sometimes, and even if I don't talk too fast, some people can still have difficulty of what I say. O__O

Oh, I know!! ! What the heck is up with that? That used to happen to me all the time. I say "used to" because at this stage in my life I only have a few people that I talk to. I've always tried to be gracious about it, but sometimes it's like, "HELLO?! Where was everyone when I was standing here saying that exact same thing??" In fact, I have actually said that on a few occasions. Everyone just looked at me like I had horns sprouting out of my head, and continued the conversation as if I hadn't spoken.

I think we all have an invisible sign above our heads. Some of us have signs that say, "Don't ever give me any feedback, whatsoever." (That's my sign, apparently.) Some people have a sign that says, "Sneer at me with distain." Others have a sign that says, "Latch onto my every word and make me part of your social network."

Yep. It is frustrating.

Nice vent wanda. I feel much better after reading that. I think my sign says "Be ignorant! Treat me like I'm 4."

haha. It's a core aspie impairment, isn't it?

I have a processing time lag that's exactly like conversing in a foreign language. It increases with the complexity of the social situation until I have a brown-out. That explains why it's so hard to 'get a word in edgeways'.

The other part of the problem is that NT socializing is an IFM black-box. It's not about the content, it's about the interaction and all that non-verbal stuff. I pay attention to the conversation and join it if the content is interesting, but I usually say something that is too serious, and not light enough for casual socializing. It doesn't help that a lot of what I say can be a bit depressing <grin>.

I'm perfectly happy listening to conversations without joining in. I tell my friends this, and that I'm allergic to small talk. And show tunes, but that's a different thread. I choose social situations where I can talk one-on-one. It's pretty easy to just say "it's too noisy here" or "this is too crazy, let's go to the ...<quieter area>". That reduces some of the time lag. Sometimes it's easier for me to ask questions than to introduce my twisted comments, and then people get to talk about themselves, and everybody likes to do that. But they know that they have to take turns, so they'll ask me something back. That's my opportunity to dispense with their question and maybe go back to something that was said earlier, with "I was thinking about what you said about ..." and say or ask something. If it's something I'm interested in, and I'm drilling down one level of depth on what they said earlier, it usually works. But only for a sentence or two. Then the subject has to change.

I have a different reaction when I say something and it falls flat, and someone else brings the exact same thing up and the conversation takes off. I see that as someone helping me out by resurrecting my DOA comment. They may actually be giving me credit non-verbally, but I wouldn't know, would I? <grin>

Omg I cant count the amount of times that has happen to me. It gets really ackward, I just feel out of place. When I stay completely quiet, people will get up with whatever assumptions wondering, "How come she was so quiet." Its like hello, did u even give me the chance to speak?

People often misunterstand what i'm trying to say

Never thought of that. That is a possibility. <thinks>