Psychologists say that the first few moments when you meet someone are crucial, that people form their opinions of you based on this. This is borne out by something that i've long noticed but never really thought about til now: the very few friends etc. that i have ever made, i made them because when i met the person in question i was in an unusually good\uninhibited mood.
The problem, of course, is coming by this socially receptive mood. I would only really be like this once or twice a year, and it would be sheer luck if i should happen to meet someone then.
I tend to think of social interaction in terms of a switch: people can be either in their head or in the world. In order to make the transition, one flicks a switch.NTs, according to this analogy, have their switch mostly on the in the world setting, and moreover, they have little trouble making the transition, if they do happen to be in their heads. Aspies, on the other hand, are mostly in their heads and struggle to flick the switch.
Given this (which applies at least to me; I would imagine at least some other people here feel the same?), I have hit upon a plan. Instead of walking around constantly fully in my head, I should, as it were, keep a finger by the switch so that when I meet someone, I can make the transition easily. The thing is, I know i have the capability to meet people, since I have exercised it on those few occasions. So if I try and keep myself idling in that mindset when e.g. going about uni, then I could maybe avert those awfully embarassing moments of surprise, and make those all important good first impressions. Even if I wasn't actually in that good\uninhibited mood, I would at least be in a position to fake it to a certain extent.
This is my ( somewhat ramblingly presented) plan, which I hope to carry out when the new uni term starts. What do people think?
09 Sep 2009, 12:57 pm
