how did you deal with gossip and labels?

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

d057
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 515
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

28 Sep 2009, 3:24 pm

I posted a wordpress.com blog about gossip, rumors, and labeling. I'm just curious to know how you handle it when you are gossiped about or labeled. Please tell me your opinion about it.

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2009/09/ ... ple-label/


_________________
Living my life one day at a time.


trekster
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 95

28 Sep 2009, 5:17 pm

i have lost friends and excluded people due to this sort of behaviour. i dont forgive as easily as i used to. i fear certain types of NTs due to my later diagnosis (age 16). i get nervous around certain people and find i cannot trust them so avoid them.

Alexis



Tory_canuck
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,373
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

29 Sep 2009, 2:06 am

The only way to deal with it in high school, was to ride it out until graduation and never hear or contact the gossippers ever agains..basically dissappear and move far away...I live three hours from where I went to high school.


_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.

ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!


Shebakoby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,759

29 Sep 2009, 2:47 am

I couldn't do anything about it.



sovereign254
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 60
Location: Vancouver

29 Sep 2009, 3:52 am

Well, if someone else is saying such things, it isn't as though one can do much to change their mind. However, the only thing that prevented me from going postal was the thought that they cared enough about me to even think about me in the first place, whether or not it was for good or bad.

They say it's the thought that counts, but not in the kind of light-hearted sense that everyone thinks of when you use that phrase.


_________________
"That's not water. That's sky, that's what the hell that is!"
-Greg Morton


Evil_Squeakheads
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

29 Sep 2009, 4:42 am

It drives me crazy. But I've seen NT friends do it to other NT friends, and whoever I hang around will usually have some gripe with someone else in the group. This happens in every group I've ever hung out with, whether it was in middle school, high school, or college. And then they'll go back and be friends with the person again, like nothing ever happened.

I know that you can talk behind someone's back and still be friends with that person. Now I pretty much assume that my friends talk behind my back. I've heard people label me as a freak/weirdo at first, and then discover I'm a pretty neat person later. Many of my friends thought I was really strange but eventually warmed up to me. Sometimes their problems are really minor things, too.

One time I was taking pictures of buildings when I was out at night with my friends, but one of my friends thought I was taking pictures of him and freaked out. Then the entire group freaked out. But eventually the entire problem got soothed over, and I never even knew about it until summer, once they had figured out I wasn't a crazy stalker. XD

I'll freak out and have an internal panic attack if I learn someone is gossiping about me, but I also feel like that's blowing the problem out of proportion. The group I mentioned before are still my friends, and they still invite me to outings occasionally.

NTs have the strength to forgive and forget, because gossip is a fact of life for them and it doesn't hurt them much. But since it hurts many aspies so much more, it's a lot harder for us.



d057
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 515
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

29 Sep 2009, 8:25 pm

I can understand how you feel, but you should do something about it when someone is repeatedly doing it, and saying horrible things about you, especially if you consider them friends. If they are saying something that upsets you, and they are saying it loud enough so that you can hear it, you need to do something about it. People need to step out of their comfort zones and tell them to stop if this type of bullying occurs.


_________________
Living my life one day at a time.