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princesseli
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19 Sep 2009, 3:04 am

I was wondering if there was any aspies on here that are good at social networking: knowing alot of people, having a large circle of acquintances with a decent amount of friends from all circles of life. Personally I'd say that I am completely in the dark on how to social network im guessing a lot other aspies are as well.



Tim_Tex
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19 Sep 2009, 6:28 am

I have a small social network IRL, and a much larger one online.


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Aimless
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19 Sep 2009, 7:07 am

I don't and I don't aspire to it either because I know myself well enough now to know I don't have the psychological energy to maintain it.



0_equals_true
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19 Sep 2009, 8:37 am

The technique I used for meeting my two friends circumvents social networking and its aims. :D



24shaz
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19 Sep 2009, 10:24 am

Aimless wrote:
I don't and I don't aspire to it either because I know myself well enough now to know I don't have the psychological energy to maintain it.


I had a large online network that I have stepped back from for this reason - I can enjoy interacting with people anonymously on a forum but eventually that spills over into texting/facebook/RL at which point it all falls apart for me because I don't have enough energy or social knowledge to maintain relationships that way for any length of time.

In answer to the OP - I have had large circles of acquaintances but it's only ever been through work or college and I've never been able to maintain it.



PCkid
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19 Sep 2009, 12:08 pm

Well.

My entire class are my friends. :?



Dancyclancy
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19 Sep 2009, 9:22 pm

Social networking is something I don't understand and I've come to terms with the fact that I never will, nor do I want to. It seems pointless to me..... from what I gather most of SN is geared to "using" people and that doesn't appeal.
Like many others I do not have the energy to keep up with people I already know.
I find that quality is more important than quantity.
I'd say that social networking for me is fraught with danger.



princesseli
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21 Sep 2009, 3:37 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
The technique I used for meeting my two friends circumvents social networking and its aims. :D


Thats the strategy that I've attempted to use for the last 2 years, yet I havent been all that successful cause I'll meet a good chunk of people but just not know how to connect with them. But its not working anymore much cause one friend left and the other has become hermit like lately. Right now Im trying to befriend this girl who has a very good social network so I can attempt to use the same strategy but there's some conflicting religious beliefs. Not too problematic but it limits my efforts. If we had the same religious beliefs Id have a easier time in getting in.

I was asking about whether or not other aspies find social networking hard is cause it seems so natural to a lot of the NT's around me yet so difficult(unnatural) for me. I want to make new friends but I have problems meeting people and approaching people even if I kinda know them. I was wondering if just getting people to socialize with was so hard for other aspies too. It seems that some of you guys just don't like it cause its exhausting. Am I one of the few that severely lacks this ability? Its not that I don't know how to hold a conversation or lack the ability to make small talk. I just dont know how to initiate and when its appropriate to. My natural state of social being is walking around keeping to myself and saying little/nothing to people. I'm an expert and knowing how to be a hermit sadly.



Dancyclancy
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21 Sep 2009, 9:08 pm

Hi princesseli! Yes it is too exhausting because it doesn't come naturally. Not only that , when I am included in a new "group" ( not good in groups) people are nice and inclusive until they realise that I'm different and not naturally social. That causes feelings of inadequacy and rejection which I can do without.
I feel the situation is different for you as you are at a different stage of life. When I was 20 I had some Chinese friends, then a Chinese boyfriend.....as our cultures were so vastly different my "weirdness" went unnoticed, in fact I sort of fitted in as to show disapproval was culturally a no no for them. When I didn't have these friends I was a loner not knowing how to meet , initiate and maintain a friendship. I'm now considerably older, had one divorce , travelled aimlessly overseas, and finally married again. I am childless. It might be significant that both marriages were to men born in Europe from cultural backgrounds very different to my own.

My friendships have formed with people involved in the same activity.... I've not joined groups to "meet" people I've joined activity groups because of my passion for the activity/interest....and from that I've met people who share a common interest. Some of these people remain "friends" but often most drop by the wayside. I think this is the same for most people not just Aspies.

Once the activity group ceases to exist these " friends" may disappear of become sort of like acquaintances. Very rarely will a long lasting friendship, as NTs have, continue.

What are your passions! interests! Follow them up via some sort of group.... for example I've joined various groups over the years.....dancing.... writing....philosophy discussion, painting.
NEVER joined with the purpose of meeting people but to enjoy sharing my interest with others.
Hope my ramblings have been of some help !



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30 Sep 2009, 4:17 pm

MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter don't interest me at all.

My sister joined a Facebook group, but rarely uses Facebook.
That's great, because my family does not need a "techno-stalker"
stalking me nor my sister.


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30 Sep 2009, 7:34 pm

I've been using Facebook and LinkedIn with some success. The more important face-to-face networking has largely failed for me. And just my luck, I'm sick today, so I missed an opportunity to network. :(


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30 Sep 2009, 9:09 pm

I lost track of every single person who was friendly to me in school. My RL social network is pretty nonexistent.