Interpreting quietness/shyness

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I have a serious problem interpreting the intent of those who are considered 'quiet'. Not necessarily 'shy' as these are a bit more overt in that department, since at least as far as I can tell there appears to be a 'fear' component to shyness that I have observed as opposed to simple 'quietness'.

But even shyness can be difficult to decode. This is because the reason for the fear is not clear.

I can determine only one thing from 'quiet' people...and that is, they have 0 interest in befriending me. At least, the ones I have been in contact with IRL through the years. Stony silence, no communication, any looks in my general direction are flat emotionless or oh so slightly hostile. Some of these people can manage a 'GTFO' look without much effort. Some 'quiet' people have straightup outright ignored me, like they won't even look at me.

But it's not like they'll talk to nobody or ignore everybody. There are people they talk to and smile at. They're not -very- talkative, even when they do.

I actually ran into very few 'fearful'-shy people in my own age groups. Mostly it was quiet, thinly-veiled hostility. VERY RARELY would the 'quiet ones' actually utter some form of verbal rejection, since the looks on their faces were usually sufficient. But it made little sense to me, because since they were quiet, they did not express the reasoning behind their behavior.

Shy people i can cut some slack, because IMO there's usually an ingrained biological/psychological thing that they have no control over. Quiet but not shy people, on the other hand, I am more suspicious of. Sometimes it's almost worse than being openly mocked.

The thing is, quiet people initially seem approachable because they are not openly hostile, for the most part. But for whatever reason, the ones I knew are actually hostile but chose to express it differently.

I feel like a cat that's approached a person that turned out to be allergic to cats

Yeah, kinda sucks when the fear isn't clear. And the fact that it's either years of conditioning your patterns of shyness and/or some genetic component to it that holds you down. That's probably why it isn't so cut and dried. It's like a million of those thoughts that keep you down are what got you there in the first place, so it's hard as hell to fight that when you could only consciously think of a few things at a time.

It's like your subconscious mind is databank holding millions of thoughts, and your conscious mind is 10 of those thoughts brought to the surface. So basically your brain is like an iceberg.

All that s**t being said, I guess some of the quiet types you came across are passive-aggressive.

I myself am extremely shy/quiet around most people. I have never been hostile although I have noticed one person like this back when I was in HS. This one kid was always like this around most people. For some reason he didn't shut up around me though. I don't know why. I never said a word to him really. He often thought I was my brother though. Called us both wrong name all the time we don't look that much alike either. Whenever someone else tried to talk to him he got irritated and sometimes used an evil voice to say things like Burn in Hell or Leave me alone or something in a slow evil tone. I never understood him and still don't.

I'm one of those very quiet people. (By the way, I do not feel "held down" by shyness or out of control. I feel rather free of social obligations, and I can control when I talk. I just choose not to most of the time.)

Since I am Autistic as well, I may not have the best control over my facial expressions. My "neutral" face may come across as slightly angry or hostile, although I can assure you, that is not my intent at all.
I usually have a "neutral" face when I feel, well, neutral!

Sometimes when I am quietly being deep in thought, some well-meaning person will come up to try to make conversation with me, interrupting my thoughts. This may cause me to look slightly more "upset" as I try to get my thoughts back together and also to think up a response.

Perhaps these are the people you are coming across, and you are just misinterpreting their facial expressions?

People have, at times, interpreted my quietness as dislike.. it was rarely accurate, and when it was, the dislike only came after they'd already decided that I disliked them and started being mean to me.
Sometimes my look of discomfort, or maybe of trying to think of something to say and failing, may seem like that "GTFO look."
I'm not saying that NTs who might act that way towards you are actually like me.. but it's possible that not everyone who seems like they're quiet because they dislike you actually does dislike you. If you're difficult to talk to (not difficult as in a difficult person, just difficult as in you're not a great conversationalist) that could explain why they'd talk to you less than they'd talk to some others.

Like I said, you may be totally right about your interpretations, but I could totally imagine the things that you said being said inaccurately about me. I sometimes "ignore" people just because I don't have any clue what to say.

I have a hard time distinguishing quiet people from shy people. (I'm described as quiet although I think I'm shy, can't people use these interchangeably?) Could someone explain please?