Something that I just don't understand...

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HannahJoyCapps
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05 Feb 2006, 12:32 pm

I don't know how to put into words how frustrateing it is to not be accepted by a community that means so much to you, because of Elliott I joined the Elliott Smith community, ever sense I joined all they've been is hostle twards me. I don't get it Elliott was a person of compashion and understanding, but there not. Here's a link to the thread that I want you all to read so you'll understand where I'm comeing from... http://www.blamonet.com/vb/showthread.php?t=80037

ps. I'm not trying to start a "fourm war" I'm just hopeing that someone will understand...



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05 Feb 2006, 3:12 pm

Hannah, that place sucks. They don't understand "autism" or even think you're trying because it wouldn't be their idea of "trying".

I say the hell with them and find some other forums which have greater abilities of empathy.


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NeantHumain
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05 Feb 2006, 4:12 pm

Hannah,

First of all, I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat the truth with what I think you'd prefer to hear. I don't really know anything about that forum other than what I saw in the particular thread you linked to. However, not a single poster to that thread (I didn't literally read every post, but I read most of them) seemed to be bating you or insulting you. Many of them, in fact, sounded particularly emotionally mature in their responses whereas you remained somewhat childish, honestly.

Asperger's syndrome is not a trump card you can pull out whenever someone disagrees with your point of view to force them to act more as you wish they would. You're no more entitled to special treatment than anyone else.

You can politely ask them to take into consideration certain differences when they are making posts in response to yours and ask that they avoid offensive stereotyping of people with Asperger's syndrome, but beyond that I'm afraid you can't dictate the mood of the forum from on high. If you really dislike it so much, you can just leave the forum or work with like-minded individuals together to reform the community. The way you handled the situation generally hardens people into the stand they've already taken because, if they changed their minds now, they would feel as if they've given in to a temper tantrum.



Jerick
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09 Feb 2006, 6:27 pm

That was very inconsiderate and mean of that girl lisa to do that, and i agree completely. I think that a thread is a thread, and we are just making connections between these topics. AMEN to you



pad
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09 Feb 2006, 7:05 pm

God,funny how people can be so f*****g rude to a good person like yourself hannah. :wink:

yes because given into a temper tantrum...which by the way how can you tell...she was merely asking for advice and everyone got annoyed...and they may've been emotionally mature but you cant really use that word because most in the end ended up being as*holes to her and being honestly rude like many nt's do. why?

"just because the majority of people are idiots why must the miniorty conform to the stupidity that surrounds us all"

"I will never change who i am because by doing so i would lose my identity and true soul"
-pad :wink:

"i hated when people tell you to smile in such a happy,cherish way as though society is somewhat a happy, cherish place."
-pad

"by truly being yourself you have made a concious agreement that being "normal" will not be on your daily agenda."
-pad :wink:



pad
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09 Feb 2006, 8:01 pm

i'm sorry you felt this way, but you're always accepted here in wp so forget about it. :wink:



Tolian
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10 Feb 2006, 7:48 am

The root cause of the hostility is that forum's mechanism that gives all posters a tangible popularity score. In that thread, other posters jeered at how your popularity 'score' was going down. To them, it's a method of encouraging friendly discussion and not being an ass.

Look at how many times they post : "Well said!", or "You sure told her" in that one thread, and many other comments about popularity. What reasons do they have for posting? Either popularity, or making you feel bad.

They're about as compassionate as a brick to the face. If you still want to be part of the community, indulge in the false atmosphere, don't mention what makes you different, and be part of the herd.

Reading those forums is like watching Clueless.


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10 Feb 2006, 9:53 am

Hannah,

I know how hard it is to find others that understand you, and what you're going through. I don't know why you would think you would find that on a music forum. The internet is a place where others leave their cares behind, and a means for meeting people who have similar interests. We can't leave our problems behind because they're always affecting us. A music forum is a place where people talk about their favorite bands. It's not really a place for people to post graphic descriptions of them cutting themselves. Wrong Planet is a place dedicated to helping people with Aspergers. Here's it's okay to post two-six threads about what you're going through, because here there are going be others who have those same problems. On a music forum, posting that many threads becomes repetitive. There were some on that music forum who were trying to explain this to you, but it probably got lost in the input from people who were being asses.



mikibacsi1124
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10 Feb 2006, 5:32 pm

I agree with your point, Sorce, and I learned that the hard way. I used to vent about my problems on this one particular music board - I guess it was because I felt a connection to the people there. Eventually it caused a bit of a backlash. Granted, my posts weren't as, er, graphic - they were mostly centered around my social struggles. But still, I have now realized that a music forum is not an appropriate place for that, regardless of how close-knit the community may be.



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10 Feb 2006, 10:44 pm

I took the time to look up your other threads since the other posters made referrance to them, and I have to agree, you are bringing this response on with your posts. (that in no way excuses rudeness however) Think before you post and this won't happen.

NeantHumain wrote:
Hannah,

First of all, I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat the truth with what I think you'd prefer to hear. I don't really know anything about that forum other than what I saw in the particular thread you linked to. However, not a single poster to that thread (I didn't literally read every post, but I read most of them) seemed to be bating you or insulting you. Many of them, in fact, sounded particularly emotionally mature in their responses whereas you remained somewhat childish, honestly.

Asperger's syndrome is not a trump card you can pull out whenever someone disagrees with your point of view to force them to act more as you wish they would. You're no more entitled to special treatment than anyone else.

You can politely ask them to take into consideration certain differences when they are making posts in response to yours and ask that they avoid offensive stereotyping of people with Asperger's syndrome, but beyond that I'm afraid you can't dictate the mood of the forum from on high. If you really dislike it so much, you can just leave the forum or work with like-minded individuals together to reform the community. The way you handled the situation generally hardens people into the stand they've already taken because, if they changed their minds now, they would feel as if they've given in to a temper tantrum.


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