Loneliness

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I know its been said that Aspies tend to be loners, and that to a degree, they prefer it that way. Well, for most of my life I've been that way but now I'm starting to feel different. I guess all the years of my life of just having myself as company has ceased to mean anything. My question is, how do you cope with your long bouts of loneliness? Does it actually help? For me, I delt with it by playing videogames - particularly MMOs, which eat away massive amounts of time. But now that I dont play anymore, and have no other 'material' things to take up my time, I dont know how to really cope.

Any insights on this would be welcome.

I found living completely alone was quite lonely (duh!) and being in a relationship was smothering me and driving me crazy with constant demands. At various times I've either rented a room from someone else or owned a home and rented out one of my spare rooms, and in most cases things went very well as long as the other person was independent, mature and somewhat introverted. I like knowing that there's someone else around in case I have to go on a trip or there's an emergency of some kind. I'm currently renting out one of the bedrooms to a shy geek who is AS-aware. He tends to keep to himself most of the time, but when I get the urge for a 2 minute conversation he's always handy and friendly.

I was living by myself for a while, and I got quite lonely...I got a pet cat, and though I still felt lonely, it wasn't as bad. So maybe a pet companion is a possibly solution?

For me loneliness seems to just come and go. Not sure why. Usually I prefer my privacy but sometimes having no one close to talk to bothers me. Romantic loneliness seems to bother me a lot more than social isolation, though, so I might be unique in this. (Romantic loneliness is also probably more strongly affected by hormones, thus possibly explaining my mood swings.)

Getting a pet is really good advice. It does help. I'd recommend a dog over a cat though - they are a lot more social and can communicate equally well to aspies and NTs.

The idea of someone living with me is nightmarish.
My Kitty is all I need.

For me its coming back with a vengance.It is the situation that I am in that I am thinking about suicide again. I just finished a relationship where she was sucking me dry and I was not "satifying" her. My parents are acting up again and driving me crazy. I can't do nothing about it because they control the money flow. Sometimes, I just want to drive off a cliff or forvibly take my friends shotgun and blow my brains out. I am sick and tired of inhabiting this planet where all my troubles are collapsing myself.It's amazing that I was diagnosed this Aspergers but nothing is being done about it.

If God tolf me that if I wanted to die this evening, I would say "Yes" please take me.

maniacman1 I don't want you to die.

manic did she care for you? If at least she did then I envy you tremendously. Just having someone close where you can talk to them about things makes the world a less painful place to live in.

I noticed that this thread has deviated from its original purpose. If you would like to talk about suicide (or need to), here is a thread that is already established dealing with suicide. Warning: it is in the Mature forum and there is content that is not recommended for youngsters. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me.


Edited several times in order to get the BBCode to work properly.

I wish I had a girlfriend who could suck me dry.

I go through phases of not knowing whether I like my friends or not, and I think that drives them away a bit. I also feel romantic lonliness a lot because I had a boyfriend over a year ago, and since then I've grown to love him even more. I see him every day at school and we're good friends, but I miss knowing that he cared for me. I also get extremely lonely if I don't see my friends for a couple of weeks - I live with my family but still get lonely. I suppose that's my fault for semi-isolating myself from them, but even so ... and I know how easy it is to be in a crowd (even a crowd of friends) and still feel so isolated because nobody understands you, and right now I'm realising more than ever how little any of my friends understand me. I suppose it would help if I understood myself in the first place though ... the friend I feel understands me best (out of my friends and family) still tells me I'm weird, and he once told me I was 'too' weird (as in too weird to be friends with.)

I asked him what annoyed him about me, and he picked up on lots of little things that I do, and said that they were "too weird." As we were in the context of friendship, I took it to mean too weird to be friends with - or more to the point, to weird to be quirks of a friend of his.

I suffer from periodic bouts of loneliness and depression. It is difficult to form and maintain friendships. It seems when I do find someone as a friend they move away and I am alone again. We live in a very mobile society. When I am feeling lonely I will call a family member. This helps some. I do have a few friends in the area and get together with them occasionally. I call distant friends on the phone or e-mail them. I do volunteer work at times or go to my church.

I don't know how old everybody on this thread is, but have any considered joining some type of clubs? My sons joined gaming clubs where they could go and play "Magic the Gathering" or things like "Dungeons and Dragons". It gave them a set group of familiar people who were always there at a set time and place. Most gamers seem to be OK with people who are a little different.

I seem to be over my bout for now, which is cool, because it got really bad recently and I actually thought of killing myself. I dont know how it could lead up to it because that was the first time in my life that I ever actually considered it.

At least I'll have the next few weeks with something to do. I'm going to see Narnia with a couple of friends next week, and in-between, I hope to get into some kind of college project where they're making a mod at my school. If only the team leader could actually send the damn email invite out!