Some people say I am charming some say I am very conniving and manipulative,smart. I tend to lack remorse and I hate to follow the rules and end up breaking them. I have no desire of making friends and being sociable is also what I hate. I am fine by myself. I can also be mentally unstable and have anger thoughts plus suicide. But suicide I don't act on it and thoughts of self harm maybe I might act out on that I know in the past I od myself. Having stormy relationships. I can be cold and distant. I can be charming when I want something. I know this may be crazy but I got a major personality issue. I don't trust others and I look out for anyone who will be poking into my affairs. I tend to be secretive and introverted. I don't know if my doctor will fine or care to tell me I might have a personality issue of any of the disorders. I try not to diagnose myself but it is hard cause I end up acting out on it. I can tend to be selfish and lacking empathy. I also have self-love issues thinking they aren't better as I am and everyone should live up to my standards. I don't know what I have but its pretty much bugging me and my doctor might not believe me. Other issues is I tend to want to be alone then to be with a company of people. I don't know whats wrong with me but I would like to know by my doctor if she can be a help but she probably won't do any good. I tend to get violent verbally,mentally and physically. I also have anger issues if I forgot to mention this. There's no way I can figure thi out on my own cause of my complusive lying. I might say sorry just to get out of trouble and show no concern for the victim and sometimes I play the victim and become dramatic.
P.S: I'm just screwed up in my head who wants to know what is wrong with me and the truth
16 Jan 2010, 1:56 pm
