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ttqs84
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20 Mar 2010, 10:01 pm

i think compliments are just a way for people to say things to make me feel like something i'm not. bottom line - they're FAKE! especially when coming from men. when they give me compliments, they don't mean s#!t. they'll say anything to a girl so they can get some p*$$y only.



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20 Mar 2010, 10:06 pm

I like receiving compliments (who doesn't?). They boost my self-esteem. A singe compliment can really make my day.


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Xhizors
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20 Mar 2010, 10:13 pm

Yes they make me unconfortable and not sure how to respond.



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20 Mar 2010, 10:34 pm

I like it when someone gives me a compliment. It makes me feel good.


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20 Mar 2010, 11:17 pm

The only compliments that do not make me uncomfortable are those which are said regarding something I have done or achieved. In those instances, I appreciate the acknowledgement, however I still prefer the sentiment to be short and sweet.


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21 Mar 2010, 3:12 am

ttqs84 wrote:
i think compliments are just a way for people to say things to make me feel like something i'm not. bottom line - they're FAKE! especially when coming from men. when they give me compliments, they don't mean s#!t. they'll say anything to a girl so they can get some p*$$y only.


that is a generalization which doesn't apply to all men. iow you are cutting many decent men to the quick. i know i myself don't treat women that way. i have many other faults but that isn't one of 'em. i have had to learn to keep mum around the lion's share of women because i am always misconstrued concerning compliments, they are always taken the wrong way. i just wish people could take 'em with grace instead of reading between the lines. but i guess IRL that is just too much to expect.



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21 Mar 2010, 3:16 am

Xhizors wrote:
Yes they make me unconfortable and not sure how to respond.


the graceful thing would be to say "thank you" or at least smile or nod in the general direction of the person who put themselves out [IOW took a personal risk] to say something nice to you. for the most part i take pains to not rebuff warm fuzzies from somebody else- they are so few and far-between in this world, after all.



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21 Mar 2010, 3:18 am

warm fuzzies [from nice people] make me feel warm and fuzzy inside :)



ValMikeSmith
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21 Mar 2010, 3:25 am

I have minor delusions of grandeur but I know when I have them.
When people agree with the delusions of graudeur it makes me feel
like a false god, and that is no more pleasing to me than when people
call me stupid.

But at the same time my special interests are interesting because they are super-powerful. That is why I have delusions of grandeur.

People often make up questions they think are impossible and ask me them as jokes,
and I often show them how easy the answers are. Sometimes they say the
question was a practical joke and when I answer it, they say they were only
kidding and are sometimes scared by my solutions to their "impossible"
problems.

The worst part about this phenomenon is that three businesses went out
of business by contractually obligating themselves to expensive and defective
complex solutions BEFORE they played the joke on me of asking me to do
something they thought was impossible but was easy. They were unable to
use my simple solutions even if they wanted to, and probably would have
remained in business if they could have used them. Millions of dollars were
wasted because what they thought was hard and expensive was close to
free and easy. In all 3 cases, bad Windows software is what they wasted
their money on, and lost much more money than they paid for it.

GM refused a 4K ROM and hired a company to write a Windows app.
A bank refused a solution to what they imagined (as a joke) might be done
with a robot hand. My solution didn't even require the hand. Yet they waited
a year and spend over 100,000$ on a defective Windows solution.
A company that I contacted to share similar technology with had over a
million in investments, but they ignored my ideas until 10 years later they
went bankrupt and emailed me an offer to buy them out. Unfortunately,
they had told me my idea was worthless so I public domained it. I made
a website showing how to make my machine. Ten years later their company
was a million dollars in debt, which means my free "worthless" idea was 2 million
dollars more valuable then theirs after 10 years.
All three of these companies might still be in business if they didn't play games
with me, and I am certainly not to blame for their nonsense. Why did they
even try to make fun of me at my expense, after they committed to their
own great expensive failures :?:
Some of these companies pist away a million dollars a day whenever their
expensive Windows programs crashed, resulting in a whole day of lost
productivity. Two of these fool companies employed family members until
they went out of business.

I have found a free business advisor to help me make use of my ideas, but
it already doesn't look good. One person walked away after letting 2 people
interrupt this story, and the other has not offered a single suggestion regarding
how to use them. I foresee releasing many solutions to Public Domain
immediately after "rejection" by business. I completely expect this rejection
to the detriment of the rejector more than myself. I have several solutions
to the medical "health care crisis" that I refuse to SELL, because I would not
want to raise medical bills. These ideas are already marked FREE to PUBLIC
DOMAIN. Let the Good Samaritans use them. The healthcare crisis is obviously
caused by greed, and no greedy business is going to use a FREE solution that
they can't "OWN" and bill for, to cover the cost of obtaining illegitimate patents.

We have a TV show called Shark Tank. It is mind pollution. If there is any truth
to it at all, then the final conclusion is that business is unable to innovate, and
unable to grow with real progress without stealing inventions. They can't steal
FREE inventions, so they refuse to use what doesn't cost anybody anything,
because they don't know how it can be profitable.

An example of this is how business redundantly buys Windows, Office, new PC's,
and experiences failures... but they won't use Linux equivalent FREE software.
How can business work when they have massive overhead AND choose
expensive unreliable machinery over FREE reliable machinery. It makes no
economic sense to me whatsoever to bond to negative ROI tools
and refuse positive ROI tools. The wheels of economy seem to be turning
in retrograde, as if its whole purpose of business is now to go into debt
and out of business. What is the value of the "product" of cubicle farms?
DILBERT cartoons suggest that they exist only to reward incompetence.



dossa
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21 Mar 2010, 3:46 am

My husband says I do not know how to take a compliment. Apparently I do not know how to give them either. I blurt things out like fact without thinking it would embarrass people. I see compliments as fact when I give them. I would not tell someone something nice about them or their actions if I did not believe it to be truth. I have to be mindful of that. My honesty can weird people out when I get to telling them how great I think this or that is...

Anyway... if someone tells me I did a good job on something, and I felt as though I did, I would not mind a compliment... though I would see it as a factual statement and it would take me a moment to say thank you. My instinct is to wonder why they are telling me what I know. If someone says I did good when I clearly did not, I get annoyed because they are lying to me. I think it my response that bothers me more than the compliment itself. People try to be nice and it confuses me or upsets me. That and I wonder why they are noticing me in the first place.

I have to agree with auntblabby... I think it is unfair to generalize men like that. I am sorry if you have had to deal with some flaming ass monkeys who give compliments out for the entirely wrong reasons... but not everyone is like that. I hope you can have more encounters with the decent people rather than the not so decent ones.


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Villette
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21 Mar 2010, 4:38 am

I feel the most awkward when guys tell me I'm attractive/good-looking. I'm used to being the nerdy neglected one in school.



GrimmRomance
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21 Mar 2010, 7:57 am

Some types of compliments are wonderful, others are a bit bland to me.
I like being told by friends/family that I'm bonkers, smart, a good person, a loyal friend, funny, etc. That kind of praise makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and my toes begin to tingle.

But when it comes to compliments regarding my clothes or appearance, I'm of course flattered, but they don't mean as much to me. They don't even boost my self-confidence much.
My sister is the exact opposite: whenever I compliment her for her looks, she lights up and you can almost see her heart beating jumping with joy.

There is one thing, I find difficult when it comes to praise: I never know when I should give a compliment back and when I should simply say thank you. That part is a tad awkward. :9



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21 Mar 2010, 8:13 am

I used to be bothered a lot. It feels good to be praised by close friends, though.
Being praised by someone I trust has kind of opened me up to compliments from other people, too. I guess the exposure convinced me that it wasn't so bad.


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Postures
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21 Mar 2010, 8:48 am

Yes. I know that most of the time they're fake and that the person doesn't really mean them.


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Etular
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21 Mar 2010, 9:17 am

PLA wrote:
I used to be bothered a lot. It feels good to be praised by close friends, though.
Being praised by someone I trust has kind of opened me up to compliments from other people, too. I guess the exposure convinced me that it wasn't so bad.


Same here. If it comes from a close friend, then I am most likely fine with that (E.g. My friend said "Nice shoes", despite the fact I'd had them for ages. I just played along as if they were new. At a later date, I paid him back with a compliment of "Nice jacket", despite the fact that he'd had it for ages). Other than with close friends, although I accept other compliments, I view them all with a pinch of salt. "Clearly that teacher that said 'well done' was belittling me, speaking to me as if I was a basic, unintelligent individual instead of the serious, hard-working individual I am... Does she think I would fall for such a clearly faked compliment?" etc.



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21 Mar 2010, 10:12 am

I don't trust them usually, regardless of who gave them. Many times it's a clear attempt at manipulation, and I can't help but wonder - what da heck do you REALLY want? It applies to men and women alike.

It's a matter of knowing my weaknesses and my faults, because I know it can (usually) be done (a lot) better.