Know how to socialise, but really don't like to!! !

Post Reply New Topic

When I try to socialise, I don't think that I'm that bad at it. That's not the problem. The problem-if you can loosely call it one-is that I actually don't really want to socialise most of the time. I feel lonely sometimes, but without the desire for company. When I do socialise it's because I need company to do something e.g I need a lab partner, I need people to go out with etc. I just feel that I should socialise, because that's what people do (human beings are meant to be social creatures) and I keep enroling myself on courses and joining groups with the aim of making some friends, but then run a mile when someone else trys to socialise with me. Socialising sometimes feels like a chore you really dislike, but has to be completed every so often. Does anyone eles feel like they're in a similar situation and if so how have you learn't to conform to the social norm?

Thanking you in advance for any replies.

Maxi.

No. I want to socialize but when I´m put in such a situation I completely lose that thought and manage to not respond to anybody or just stand there. Perfect!

What about "socializing" on the internet? You can always log off when you are no longer lonely, and it's not as stressful-- if you stay away from drama.

I can relate to this. In fact, that is how I first suspected that I may be Aspie. It's not that I dislike people, but "socializing" is so boring to me. I like to get into a really good discussion about something that interests me, but just chatting or spending unstructured time around people is almost agony. I think that maybe the key word for an Aspie is "unstuctured". I would much rather spend my free time doing something that is interesting to me, much more than just be around other people who mostly seem to be talking in social formulas and cliches. I'm aware that some people have been hurt or puzzled or even annoyed when I turn down opportunities to socialize but I am now at a point where it's OK to be me and know that life is too short to be bored. I'm never rude or abrupt about it, although I do wish people would leave me alone once they see that I'm not interested and it's not a personal afront.

I think I may be the same; I can be social, but it takes a lot of concentration (I feel) to remember to say and do all the right things.