I hate false modesty, it's just another way to lie.

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Why is it that it is considered selfish for a person to say what they believe they think is good about themselves, even when they are?
Like say someone said they are pretty, and they really are pretty, then people say how self centered that person is.
It's the truth, so how is that self centered?
It would only be self centered if they WERENT pretty. Except, for most people, it would only be not self centered if someone else called them pretty.
But even if someone else called them pretty, and the person agrees, they're still self centered.

And then if someone compliments you, you must be modest about it, or even the slightest sign of agreement with them would make you self centered. I mean why make it so difficult?

Cause people like to think theyre better than everyone else from a moral standard.

If someone is pretty then surely they must also be selfish and the like. That is how I've known some people to think.

its a delecite balance, social norms. wowzers this is why my my avoidant personality is making a comeback in my life. this whole time i dont even think i have aspergers. i have been avoiding people because of stuff like what you just said!

It is one thing for someone to say they are pretty. It is another to say that they are prettier than someone else.

Personally, I do not mind if someone compliments themselves. It shows good self esteem. It only really irritates me when they start comparing themselves to others.

It is like someone saying "I am so much smarter than everyone else" instead of "I am smart".

I just see it as another form of politeness, which you could say is a fundamentally dishonest concept in general if you want to be cynical about it.

I've always felt that it's not my place to praise myself, and if I deserve praise I'll get it from others. In my line of work, and in creative fields in general, that kind of modesty is a valuable asset - your own opinion of your work matters very little, and you always have to be willing to accept criticism and acknowledge any flaws. A little practiced modesty makes that process a lot smoother.

I also find it a little hard to accept compliments in general, or at least react to them, but confidence issues aside I attribute most of that to my British upbringing. Being a little bit humble and self-deprecating is in our culture, I think.

Where I draw the line is using false modesty to deliberately fish for compliments, though, and I can agree that that's a weak and annoying thing to do.