Where to look

Post Reply New Topic

A bit problem I have in social situations is people find it strange that I stare into space or stare at an inanimate object. I find sitting around doing nothing but talking (unless I'm talking about something interesting) unnatural and weird but I still don't get why I can't just not stick out when I do it. What are people supposed to stare at when they're say sitting around a table in a bar or something. I don't stare at other people because that would be even weirder but what am I supposed to stare at? Sorry for the strange question but this is an actual problem I have I had no other way to word it.

I've got the same problem. I think the issue is that NT's interpret eye direction in terms of intention ("what's he looking at?" = "what's he doing?") Certainly if I'm in a situation where I know exactly what I'm doing the problem goes away. Of course, in a crowded social situation I never know what I'm doing for very long, I get overwhelmed etc. etc.
The only advice I give you is not to worry about the eyes, just pay attention to whoever's talking and try to follow the conversation and join in when you can. Whilst you're keeping that up the eye problem should solve itself.

I'm guessing the crux of the problem is when you don't look within the circle of people talking, they assume you aren't listening and think you're acting like they are boring you. Which is often true. I have a tendency to "wander off" with the eye contact but no one gives me a hard time about it.

That makes a whole load of sense thanks for clearing that up. In retrospect I even remember comments alluding to me not being interested in the conversation but at the time I had no idea thats what they were hinting at.