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princesseli
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01 Feb 2010, 6:52 pm

So I basically lost a friend because of two reasons, I wasa being too clingy and when they would not hang out with me I would get mad and offended and get in there face about it. For me clingness has really been a problem for a long time where I would eventually scare people away. Even though I lost a friend lately, I made a new friend recently who I am already starting to cling to. I dont want to scare the person off and drive them nuts so Im trying to control myself by trying to take the friendship slowly and to try not to become too dependent on them for company. I just really insecure and I hate being lonely. Sometimes it makes me really nervous to be alone not doing something. Does anyone have any advice how not to be soo clingy to people



Lene
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01 Feb 2010, 7:01 pm

It's hard, but try to find another occupation; e.g. take up a hobby or read a good book. Also, join a club, that way you will have another social outlet.



passionatebach
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01 Feb 2010, 7:23 pm

I think that this is a common problem with us Aspies. I don't really have an answer to this due to the fact that I have had problems with clingyness/obsessiveness with friends. It has caused problems within the friendship and even terminated a few of them.

I do agree, you need to find other activities that take your mind off of this person. Find those activities that engage you with other folks, so you can make other friends/acquaintances that fill your time.



catlover02
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01 Feb 2010, 7:45 pm

I am a really clingy person too. I am really needy where I always craze people's love and attention. I get attached to people easily. This might seem weird, but I really like to be close to people by holding people's hands or leaning on their shoulders because that really helps me to stay calm, secure, loved and etc. You are not alone. If you need a friend, I will be your friend. I also have Asperger's Syndrome and I am really clingy too.



sgrannel
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01 Feb 2010, 11:58 pm

I've had problems with being too clingy and being told I come on too strong. I tend to cling to people who can do important things for me, and after graduating or whatever other event ends my need to depend on someone, I am left to wonder if the other person really liked me or whether the other person has any need or desire to continue interacting with me after the situation of need has evaporated.


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02 Feb 2010, 12:24 am

I don't let myself get this way. I am too afraid of getting clingy. So that's why I don't keep sending messages to people or IMing people when they never respond. I tend to be passive.



luvntiedye
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02 Feb 2010, 9:31 am

You've got to spread it around a little! Maybe try befriending that person's other friends. It can be nice to be one of a group of 3 or 4, and puts things in perspective so you don't cling. In case you don't know how to befriend these people, try initiating conversation that's about them (and not your special interest). Be interested-- don't just act like it, as we Aspies usually turn out to be terrible liars. However, all of this might turn out to be too tricky and complicated if your original friend isn't aware of your ASD, as he/she can sort of introduce the concept to the others and let them know you are ok.


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