Weird habit of mine that got pointed out

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main reason ive put it here is because of the effect it can have on my social interactions.

Ive been wondering if anyone else does this. I can suffer from extreme bouts of boredom at times, and during those times, I can go from person to person and either just b***h/complain about my life, or ill just start being an ass. Letely its been better, but still.

Whoever pointed it out to you did you a favor. I used to do the same thing. Then I realized people didn't want to hear me complaining all the time. It can be like a bad habit. One thing someone else had to point out to me is accepting compliments. Whenever a friend made a positive comment about a drawing I had done I would always compulsively point out all the things wrong with it. She stopped making comments and after a while I asked her why. She said she figured I didn't think her opinion mattered.

yeah Im pretty much the same way with the compliments as well.

In the world of NT people, verbal communication is used partly for sharing ideas and partly for sharing emotions. Whereas the first requires accurate input and logical reasoning to be meaningful in any way, the second requires the exact oposite : making the other person feel better (or worse, depending on the context) without any regard for truth or reason. NT people seem to know instinctively which type of verbal communication to use in which condition and can change between both on the fly, whereas for us it feels totally unnatural to use the second approach and we therefore tend to avoid using it (either consciously or unconsciously) if we are even capable ot using it in the first place.

Because we do not use verbal communication for sharing emotions but only for sharing ideas, we have an unusual way of expressing how we feel and this is very focused on our own rational interpretation or our own emotions. We easily get obsessed by an emotion that's very intense (we tend to feel many emotions stronger than most people because we lack empathic input and are thus less used to the continuous bombardment of emotions NT people and even more BPD people have) and most people tend to become incredibly annoyed by it. I don't entirely understand why, but NT people tend to consider this behavior very egocentric.

I'm sorry but I simply don't relate. I use verbal communication to express my emotions all the time.

You first translate your emotions to words and then tell those words. NT people can communicate their emotions directly, without putting them into words first.

I get what Salonfilosoof is saying. An NT will express emotions indirectly through words. Aspies don't tend to do that. An aspie is more likely to straight forward. Expressing emotions directly when they choose to, ("I'm angry"), and making factual statements, but not wrapping factual statements up in emotional overtones.

(I see Salonfilosoof and I have different views of what expressing one's emotions directly is. Still, despite our differences in how to say it, we are saying the same thing, I believe.)

It's not so much the way Aspies express emotions that's different but rather the way they generate emotions. We feel good or bad because we think about something good or bad (in the future, present or past - for example, we feel bad because someone is angry with us or we believe we're going to fail at something in the near future) whereas neurotypical people tend to have emotions generated automatically by means of subconscious processes (this is why they tend to feel bad in what they perceive in a "depressing environments", like winter or a dark living room). Because neurotypical people generate many of their emotions subconsciously rather than consciously, they also are more inclined to express their emotions less directly and verbally, however someone with Asperger's can learn to do this as well

I do things like that, though nobody has pointed it out yet.

I remember someone pointed out that I rub salt on my shoulders when eating, it was true, but I couldn't stand the feeling of salt on my hands at that time...

Dude, that's not a bad habbit, it's making your self known, keep doing it, and if people start looking down on you, put em in a coma

I do tend to moan at people about my problems. I have difficulty figuring out how to communicate my problems, after all they say a problem shared is a problem halved, but I realise that friends don't want to hear negativity all the time. However, if I am feeling negative at the time I see that person, I am not sure whether to be positive is to lie to them if they ask how I am or what. This is an area that confuses me tremendously and I am sorry, I find it difficult to put these things into words. Sometimes I feel like my posts here are filled with nothing when I'm trying so hard to say something.

I have an amazing friend that I send the most random dark emails to. I sometimes apologise to him for it, but he's always there. I need to just blow off steam sometimes and he lets me. I don't know how he does it. I saw him the other day for the first time in about a year and he told me to keep the emails coming. But not everyone is like that. I do send cheerful emails when I am cheerful though.

My teachers always used to complain about my complaining.

when I was in Jr high...I would piss people off just to get a reaction because so many people ignored me, but then I realized that instead of ppl ignoring me...they picked on me back. That did not work well as a stratagy. Well maybe you do this because you want someone to hear what you are saying rather than just being bored. It is easier to complain (as a form of comunication) than it is to predict what each social situation calls for and meet the other person's social needs. (that is another reason you might be doing this)

I am suggesting these things because I think that you need to find out why you are doing this in order to resolve it, otherwise, it will just be like cramming 3 gallons of gloop in a 1 pint jar...It going to bust loose anyway.

Jojo

it isnt really even that. If i get bored and cant find anything to occupy myself, this tends to happen. Its probably from the mild ADHD I have along with my AS.

Do you have any special intrests that you can discuss with people instead?

its more or less the whole one track mind, too lazy to discuss part about me