No matter what (there is cussing)

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I hate this f*****g world why the f**k am I here when I have to watch as it all burns time and time again. No matter how much I pray and how much I hope this time it will be different and looks good and looks like this time looks like it going to be the one but just as quickly as it starts it ends. I have to one more time know rejection and one more time
get those awful looks of people who don't understand of contemp and anger and one more time I have take my bags and move on down the road. I try so hard I want so much not to be this way I want so much to fit in. I want to know what it like to live in their world so I can be with them. I hate my world where I am alone and nothing make sense.

Yes, the world can be a sterile place. My advice- do your own thing and do it well.