Ever had bad freinds just to have friends?

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Greshym Shorkan already sort of touched on this topic, but I wanted to ask a more general question. Have you ever had a friend with seemingly no good personal qualities who either mistreated you or was embarrassing to be around, and did you still hang out with them because you felt like they were the only person that would associate with you? Discuss.

I ask this because that was my situation in HS. When I first transferred to public school, I went to a church youth group where a ton of kids from the school were. I talked to this kid who seemed like he was popular and had a ton of friends, and seemed willing to be mine, but a couple of weeks later I overheard him telling someone I was ret*d, because of my awkward behavior and strange mannerisms. . That eliminated any possibility, at least at that time, of me making popular, socially well adjusted friends.

My social skills were not yet developed enough to properly interact with those kind of people, so I knew that If was going to make any friends, they would have to be losers like me, kids who's social skills and quality of life were subpar compared to kids with masterful social graces. So I was sitting in class when this kid in front on me asks if I have a girlfriend, he asked me this because I looked at him weird when we were at a football game, and he thought I was gay. I explained to him that I didn't have a gf because girls don't date socially inept guys, not because I was gay. I also told him that I looked at him weird because I was so nervous about social interaction that It caused me to regress and not be able to do anything normal.

I'll admit that the kid had good fashion sense and at first I thought he was somewhat popular, but I found out that all the girls thought he was a creep because he would add them on facebook regardless of whether he knew them or not, and then try to strike up a conversation with them. All the guys thought he was a douchebag and didn't want anything to do with him. He was friends with a popular kid who played golf and baseball, and like knew a bunch of people, but that kid ditched him when they got to public school, (they were both homeschooled together, as their parents were formerly christian fundamentalist neocons), and he joined the popular crowd. I realized that this kid was just as a much of a social failure as I was. We started hanging out and talking on the phone. I had never really hung out with anyone before, as I went to private school populated with kids who lived in many different parts of town, and I couldn't drive yet.

Plus even though I was well liked, noone really ever invited me to do anything, I did go to a pre prom party my sophomore year (my last at the private school) but that was it as far as my social life. I guess people thought I was a liability because of my then fly-off-the-handle behavior, and thought that I would embarrass them If they took me around their public school friends. I did hang out with people from the school after I had left for public school though.

However, when I started hanging out with the loser from public school, he would always try to get under my skin, He would say things like "no girl thinks your hot" "you would suck at that", and basically made me feel like my entire personality was one hilarious weakness and that I had no strengths. He would always make fun of me for my asperger's (he just had severe ADHD) and would ask "are you ret*d", just to get under my skin. He would set me up to hang out with people who he knew would judge me. One time we hung out with this wigger-type girl who criticized my every move, she made mean comments about every trait I had, such as my weird facial expression and the way I moved my hands when I talked, I had never been scrutinized and berated like that in my entire life. And the worst part is the friend knew this would happen ahead of time, he just wanted to get a laugh.

I don't feel like I've made any progress in life by associating with this kid. My self esteem and self image were so damaged that I never even bothered to make those "popular, socially adjusted friends", as was the plan when I first came to the school. I just hung out with him for the rest of our time at the school. I'm not in college. I was so afraid of being laughed at I didn't ask questions in the classroom, and thus fell behind academically and barely managed to graduate. I still hang out with the kid because noone else is around right now. Noone will be until l get back in school. Were each others only friend. Its pathetic. Have you ever been in a situation like that. Discuss.

I admit it. I have done this with both friends and romantic partners. It got me in trouble.

Yeah, but I didn't realise it until after I was diagnosed - my 'best friend' for the past 10 years used me for money, as did my ex partner, both constantly 'borrowing' from me because I was naive enough to trust that I'd get it back...

(Didn't read the whole post, too long)


Yes I have had friends who were not good. I wanted friends so I let them mistreat me. I also wasn't aware then and as I got older I had awareness and I still wanted to be friends with them. I also wanted to be friends with this neighborhood bully who has hated me since he was about four and I was six then when he started to be mean to me. I wasn't aware then until I was eight. I still wanted to be his friend so I was trying everything I can to get him to like me. He liked my brother and other kids liked him even my own best friends so I felt left out.

Now I just think it's stupid to have friends who are no good just to have friends.

I used to have friends out of desperation, but I don't settle for less nowadays. btw, use paragraphs and make your post shorter. It's hard to even skim through...

*gasps* paragraphs!! Please ! !!

I've had a couple of friends that I hung onto longer than was healthy. Don't think I've anyone too toxic in my life anymore.

Yes, I used to have friends that would gossip about me all the time. Now I pretend that they don't exist, I never answer their e-mails.

Yes, and it was the worse thing I've done.

Cursedone, you're so hard on yourself. First of all, stop referring to yourself as a loser, even if others have said so. Now that you're aware of things a little better, you don't have to be friends with complete morons, but you shouldn't try for the popular kids all the time. People pick up on the least little thing, and the popular kids never understand strange mannerisms.

Good luck.

i dont really think im a loser, i just said that because honestly i couldnt think of another word to use haha. I wasn't trying to hang with popular kids specifically, just mature kids who act their age and are gonna be somewhere in life. the kid i referred to didnt get his HS diploma, He had to get his certificate because he couldnt pass the HS exit test. In 3 attempts. Im sorry if i come off as down on myself, thats not my intention. I like to think of it as "realizing my past problems".

My social skills have improved greatly, Im no longer the awkward, socially immature kid I was in 11th grade. I can have normal conversations with regular people. The problem is im not in college, i have a job working with people who are too old and too, lets just say "culturally different" for me to be freinds with. Besides my deadbeat friend, theres no girls to date, no dudes to hang out with.

All my oppurtunities have passed me by, Im never gonna be a High school athlete, i could play college club sports, but no one really pays attention to those and theres no glory in it. Im still going to just to have something to do and meet people. but i dont have good hs memories because I hung out with this idiot. However i need to grow up an move on because theres better things ahead.

I had "bad" friends all through elementry and high school. My school was VERY small (3 people in my graduating class) so my "friends" were pretty much the same. My main friend was off and on and as we got older she really did turn out to be the bad kid and I was guilty by association on some of her exploits.

Since then I really have not had friends. Every once in a while I'll have a friend but I'm always their disposable friend and often get used. One person I thought was a true friend greatly reduced contact with me once I started saying NO.

Absolutely. Too many of the people I have considered friends, even a couple of long term relationships.

Bad memories made worse by the fact that I'm just now realizing how naive, trusting, and easy to take advantage of I am.

I spent five years in an abusive relationship and ended up *severely* traumatized, because I accepted bad treatment in exchange for the companionship that had eluded me for so long. How much time, heartache, self-respect, and money could I have saved...?

Not to mention all the terrible images in my head which will probably never go away.

Be choosy with your friends. I am. Now.

I do, unfortunately. My real friends live in different cities from me, so I need fake friends to tide me over when I can't see my real ones.