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Family Time

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passionatebach
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02 Feb 2010, 12:01 pm

What does someone mean when they say that they need "family time"? I usually get this after a major life event has happened to someone close to me. I find this rather confusing, because I am a person who likes the advice and interaction from friends and third parties about situations. Lets say that there is a death in the family, job loss or other event that has happened, the last people that I want to be around are people that are feeling sh***y like I am. I would much rather divorce myself from the situation as much as possible. Is this something that NT's do that us Aspies do not understand?

Lastly, when a person close to me needs assistance with a major life events, I sometimes have a smothering want to help them. Many times this type of attention is unwanted.



ursaminor
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02 Feb 2010, 12:26 pm

Maybe they want to be close to their family to give them some sort of emotional support. I don't know, the only thing that happened in my family that I know of that is of significance is my grandmother's husband (not my grandfather) dying. But I was never close to him so I didn't feel anything. My mother did and she wanted to hug me, I can't remember what I did. Probably nothing.



schleppenheimer
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02 Feb 2010, 3:05 pm

I think that in this concept of "family time" as the original poster described, NT's crave time with the people who understand or sympathize with their situation of the moment, whether it's a death in the family, or a job loss, etc. Sometimes it's easier to be with family at times like these because they may be a little more understanding of your sadness, OR they may allow you to mourn whatever your problem is without feeling the social need to talk or be jovial.



Eto
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02 Feb 2010, 4:15 pm

I think some people are closer to their families than even their friends, so when they want support that's where they go.

I'm not very close with my family, so I run to my friends instead and talk to them. I always get momentarily confused when someone suggests that I talk to my family about something that's bothering me, because I'm just not all that connected to them at all.


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rabryst
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02 Feb 2010, 4:18 pm

schleppenheimer wrote:
I think that in this concept of "family time" as the original poster described, NT's crave time with the people who understand or sympathize with their situation of the moment, whether it's a death in the family, or a job loss, etc. Sometimes it's easier to be with family at times like these because they may be a little more understanding of your sadness, OR they may allow you to mourn whatever your problem is without feeling the social need to talk or be jovial.


At risk of posting a redundant comment, this is exactly it. In my own family I've seen people come together to commiserate over someone's death. We all (ASDs and NTs alike) can benefit from the intial closeness of family at this time, even if it is for a short moment.


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CockneyRebel
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03 Feb 2010, 4:28 pm

It means that they want to hang out with their family.


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03 Feb 2010, 6:14 pm

Eto wrote:
I'm not very close with my family, so I run to my friends instead and talk to them. I always get momentarily confused when someone suggests that I talk to my family about something that's bothering me, because I'm just not all that connected to them at all.


Me too, Eto. It's disconnection so much, however, that I shouldn't try to describe here. But I absolutely never understood the suggestion to talk to my family about something.

CockneyRebel sounds correct with her definition.