can't tell i'm being taken advantage of

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i had a group of people last year i guess i somewhat considered to be "friends".
except it ended when it seemed like i was only being used for rides because 2 of them didnt have a car.
and now when they see me they just give me the strangest looks and things.

it sucks.
everytime i think im making friends and lose friends it makes me just want to give up.

a few people say "i'm gullible, think way too much, sketchy, care too much about what people think".
but ive never felt gullible, i know i think a lot, and i never think im sketchy.

and i dont even know what it means to "care what other people think"

The same thing happened to me. These people for three years only wanted anything to do with me when they wanted rides to go somewhere or to use my house as a meeting place or party venue. When they needed something, I was there, but when I needed something they wanted to be as far away from me as possible. When I confronted them they assured me it was my Asperger's and past history that was confusing me and making me misunderstand their intentions. Once one guy threw a party and my house because his wasn't suitable, and he yelled at me because I apparently hadn't cleaned up the rooms well enough. They discouraged me from talking to other people or trying to get into relationships. It was constant bullying and emotional abuse, and they kept telling me how fat, lazy, stupid, and worthless I was and how no one would want me. They all wanted to act like fourteen-year-olds for all eternity and I wanted to grow up.

One day I blew up at one of the guys for being rude to me and he let me know how everyone really felt about me. I was told the world was a better place without me. It took me a long time to get into a healthier situation but now I have a new group of friends where I don't feel like I'm just the favor-giver or money-lender, and I have a boyfriend and I'm getting ready to move out on my own. But now I stand up for myself when I'm feeling taken advantage of. It keeps the jerks away. I'm sorry that this seems to happen to a lot of people with AS.

People sense that you're way of thinking is different or that your social skills are not natural, apparently, and this is why they will judge you as "sketchy", "thinks too much" (having to over analyze).

Someone saying you care too much about what others think means you care too much about how others see you and what they think of you. I think an autistic person would simply not be able to read how a person feels about them based on body language, so therefore must ask. When people can do this with body language, asking makes it seem like you are constantly worried about what other's think of you.

Just my thoughts about what you said.

I have that same problem. I don't know that I'm being taking advantage of, until either somebody tells me, or it's too late. I'm very naive, or unworldly, that way.

I'm thirty eight, and I've come to the conclusion in the last year that I'm never going to have another friend, or try to fit in... and I won't miss it either.

My brother has lots of friends, including folks he went to school with. I have no friends at all. And I simply don't know how to make them. I've given up.

It's not that bad. I can be friendly with folks, without expecting friendship in return. Perhaps I'll be used again. But at least now I can't be disappointed. Friendship is overrated anyway.

Thanks so much. Things are a lot better now. I'm just enjoying life for once. ^-^

A "rule of thumb" would be if someone asks favors of you time and time again without ever offering anything in return. Then they are either taking advantage or just plain draining people. Some are so self absorbed they dont see it and dont do it by mean intent, they just suck the energy all into themselves, and the world revolves around them.

A friend isnt taking advantage of you if they ask for rides and in return buy you lunch for instance. Said friend might not be able to offer the same favor in return, but its give and take the whole way.

So dont grow too suspicious either, someone asking a favor or even repeatedly does not instantly mean they're out to abuse you - take a mental step back and look at the overview - do they ever offer you anything in return? Help in school or work, buying drinks/meals or asking you to go places with them like the cinema or such? It could be they are trying to repay your favors with other favors - even if you dont ask of any.

At the risk of sounding inconsiderate as well, this is exactly why I don't do favours for others unless I know that I will be getting something in return, none of this one-sided crap.

P.S. Reciprocity rules.

just ask your self, "what do they receive compared to me?" as in, when you help them, they receive the benefits. and you receive gas money and good conversations