friend without patience

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I recently started at college where I made quite a good group of friends and a best friend with things such as manic depression...I've been there for them for really horrible things that their mother should have been there for instead(they won't tell them) and I've always tried to be understanding and free to see them even if it was putting me under strain...my parents even said I was being took advantage of ,but now that I'm going through a really difficult aspie/depressed period of my own the friend is being really inconsiderate and making me feel worse for my condition currently...I've had to cancel on them a few times and got hell from them and they keep trying to use their own problems to place guilt on me....the friend is also very needy due to failed friendships before like myself and keeps panicing and saying i'm trying to leave them...I really don't know what to do and could do with some help...

So let me get this straight. You have been there for your best friend through energy-sucking drama that left you drained, and now, when you need support, this person is not only NOT there for you, but is also trying to make you feel guilty for the stress you're feeling? Friendship is a two-way street and it sounds like you are giving and giving and getting absolutely zero in return. Loyalty is a great trait, but it does sound like you are being taken advantage of. I had some similar friendships like this in college, where people used me as an emotional sounding board for their many dramas and gave nothing in return. It eventually sucked all my energy and it was just more trouble than it was worth, so I dumped them and found one really good friend (which is way better than a group of terrible friends!). BPD is not an excuse for being a terrible friend. Some use BPD (or ANY disorder!) as an excuse for acting lousy toward others, but there are plenty of bipolar people who ARE there for their friends when they're down. You have to be careful about loyalty, because people can use that to guilt you into being a complete doormat if you don't stand up for your own needs in a friendship. Hope this helps.