Does rejection enrage you?

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It can for me, especially if I sense it from the opposite sex. I've had such a bad experience with this, and so many harsh rejections in the past, that it generates a kind of hostility in me if I perceive someone fears me or even seems a little hesitant. Then, the anger can grow to where the rest of my day is messed up. I've been told I have a frightening look, but can I help that? That's all... further reading is optional.

Today was one of those days- I was biking around down town campus and stopped to ask some student if the main library was around there. She gasped, even took a few steps back, and stuttered some reply. I was so shocked I just stared for about three seconds before thanking her and biking off.

There's no telling what's going on in the other persons head. I've often taken it as a personal rejection though I have to wonder how much of it involves "their" own personal issues/failures or social frustrations?

I guess my biggest challenge is to figure out what makes people respond they way they do and how I can communicate with them appropriately. Right now it's all quite a mystery to me.

I have a problem at work of starting conversations with people who haven't noticed that I'm standing next to them. I will catch them completely off guard so they either scream or yelp in surprise. This is something I know that I personally need to work on, catching people when their guard is not completely down.

I find speaking from a distance, or jingling my car keys or whistling a tune as I get closer seems to clue them in. It's almost like I've learned to "announce my presence" before approaching coworkers or strangers too closely.

Not sure if this has any bearing on situations that you're describing, but for me it seemed to make conversations more welcoming and less "threatening" for lack of a better word.

Last edited by Maranatha on 16 Feb 2010, 3:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Women, children, and old people often perceive anything slightly out of the ordinary as some sort of threat.

LOL. I don't know that you meant it as a joke, but for some reason that's funny.

But seriously, I've noticed that too about women.

Me "Excuse me...?"
"GASP! Are you going to hurt me?"
Me "No, we're in a restaurant, and I'm trying to do my job. Would you like a sample of our mandarin chicken? It tastes like pork. It's delicious! You can get it as a second entree."
"Oh my God, how do I know you don't have a gun......."

I hope I'm not being too sexist. Guys sometimes freak too, but they're nowhere near as skittish. Old people usually seem scared but nice, and children never know anything I care about. Now babies I like to babble at. I also like to ramble on message boards.

That's a good idea...

That wasn't a joke. They think things are scary that aren't scary.

Yeah. Irrational fear of random things.

The girl in the original post sounds like she thought asking for directions was "the big threat".

I never talk to strangers at all.

It doesn't make me feel angry, it makes me feel sad. I'm such a big softy.

Rejection makes me panic.

It takes so long to find people that I can get on with, that if things go wrong I get desperate to rescue the friendship / relationship. But very often that means I get overbearing / obsessive and then they just leave quicker!

The older I get the more hurt I get, and the more these things matter to me. Which means the problem has got worse, of course.

It's got to the stage where, when I meet someone nice, I instantly feel scared and depressed just because they MIGHT leave again. Which is ridiculous, of course.

It doesn't enrage me, but it doesn't exactly give me a self-esteem boost.

I'm so afraid of rejection that I never put myself in a situation where I could get rejected. What a wimp I am indeed.

I've been treated pretty badly by people most of my life and if I get rejected or snubbed I see red. The funny thing is that if I get rejected by girls I don't usually get angry at them like I do with men I get really angry with myself for being such a failure/freak. If a guy is rude to me its a short step to a confrontation unless he backs off. If a girl rejects me I question why I keep on living.

Rejection in and of itself doesn't make me angry, just kind of depressed. Maybe if I'm bothered about it a short time later I may have a short fuse, but that has more to do with my vulnerability after the event.