How do you show a good impression?

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I'll get a contact person very soon. It's like a "friend" that I have to socialise with! Mum forces me to it.
I'll meet her once a week, and I'm very nervous. I haven't met her yet.
The contact person is going to get information about Asperger's and how the diagnosis affects me, how to deal with me as best as possible and so on. She will know that I have trouble talking to others and that it may take time for me to feel safe around her.

I isolate myself and haven't spent time with people in years.
My doctor thinks that it is important for me getting someone to be with. Everybody thinks.
It's practice for the future.

Well, I'm feeling sad and lonely. I have no real life friends, and start to want some.
I know the contact person do it because it is her job, and that she will know what's best for me, but I really want to show a good impression. The first meeting is important. If she doesn't like me then, I don't want to live anymore. That's how it feels!

My sister got a contact person recently, and they have only met twice and are already really good friends.
I'm so envious, because she knows exactly how to behave in social interactions. I hate being an aspie these times!

My biggest problem is my lack of social skills. Need help!

Last edited by Withdrawn on 12 Mar 2010, 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think she/he will understand about the social skills issue. Only thing to think about is to make sure you're in comfortable, respectable (casual) clothes. Breathe deep breaths if you start to feel stressed, as this can help ease it.

Crikey! Thinking like that will only stress you out. She is presumably going to try and help you with those very things. I really wouldn't worry. Just be honest and (this might not be bad advice on this occasion) be yourself so that you can get the most from this persons aid.

Don't be envious of your sister, you're about to (hopefully) feel as good about your relationship with your befriender as she does about hers.

Can these people just quit when they do not like you?
Seems like a childish escape.
Besides, the person is supposed to be aware of it so the person will not mind.

Thank you LostAlien, Moog and ursaminor.

Yes, and that freaks me out! If she doesn't want to be my contact person anymore, she can just quit. And if she doesn't like me, why wouldn't she quit then?

I hope she is understanding.

People doing these things often want to help people, thus can be kind, understanding individuals. Try not to worry about her. Try to be calm.

Ok. Let's think about this. What would really happen if your contact quits? Wouldn't they just go find you another contact person? And in the mean time you wouldn't have meetings for a while until they do find another. You don't have meetings now. What would be so different? If the agency chooses a person who is not a good fit for you, so she requests that your case be given to another person, that wouldn't mean you did anything wrong. If they choose the wrong person for the job that is their fault, not yours. Ok? And it is to your advantage to get past this so you can learn to approach other people.

It's not that I so badly want to hang out with this contact person. I'm used to be alone.
The problem is: If she quits, I feel guilty, and then I feel more worthless than I already do.
I just don't want the contact person to dislike me that much, that she quits!
I just want to succeed with at least one thing ...

That is why I am trying to tell you this. If she quits, that is her decision. You have no control over what she decides to do. If she quits, that means she failed, not you. And what is more, it's not her job to like you in the first place. She probably will anyway, but that is not what she being hired to do. Her job is to help you succeed. Her job is to be on your team and help you learn to do what will enable you to communicate well with other people. Her job is to help you not feel worthless. And it is not your job to make a good impression on her. It is your job to be yourself and do your best.

And I think you might be exaggerating a little saying you wish you could succeed at just one thing. Remember you told me yourself that you do well in your studies. I think that just might qualify for succeeding at something. In fact I envy you. I would have loved to have been able to be good at my studies when I was in seventh grade.

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