Making friendship move forward
I moved away from the town I used to live in a year and a half ago. I had lived their for 4 years and had a small circle of acquaintances. Through one of these acquantances I met his fiance. She was worried about moving to this town because I was unhappy there and found that people weren't very friendly. But she loves her fiance they got married and she moved there. However, she loves it there. She has made loads of friends and is very happy. She doesn't understand why I had so much trouble making friends. That's just me I guess. I don't socialise very well. I could paint you a beautiful picture. I could build you a website. I could mend the hem on a pair of trousers for you or make you a skirt. But I can't socialise and I don't know why.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do really. I can be friendly, but I'm not sure how to make a friendship move forward. I have always spent my spare time mostly by myself. I don't know what you would ask a person to do to move a friendship along. I have invited women I know to go for a coffee and a chat, but only people I already feel comfortable with. I don't ask guys to go for a coffee because they might take it that I fancy them and want to be more than friends. I just have no social intellegence and I'm not sure if I am ever going to get any better at it.
I hate Fridays. Tomorrow is Saturday and I don't have anything to do. No one to go anywhere with. I don't know what to do.
I used to have the same problem. I wasn't interested in making friends until I got to high school, and was completely puzzled as to how to proceed. I would make small talk with some girls, ask them how their weekend was or what colleges they're applying to, but it never got beyond that. Years later, my therapist told me that the way to get close to someone is to spend time together outside of school or work. That way, you get promoted to the "friend" level and talk about more interesting and personal stuff. So you're doing right by asking potential friends for coffee. As you spend time together, you get a feel for how well you interact and if you have a nice rapport, one of those women may invite you somewhere. Thus, a friendship develops.
Also, did you think about joining Meetup.com? You just enter one of your interests and the city where you live, hit "Search", and voila! You get a list of groups, which you could join and become invited to scheduled events. That way, you could make friends more easily because you'll have at least one common interest. And even if you don't, you'll still get to go out and have fun, and practice your social skills. It's a win-win situation! Just be yourself; you sound like an awesome person. *hugs*
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
He wants me to move in but I can't |
16 Nov 2024, 1:41 pm |
Why have no plants evolved to move from spot |
22 Nov 2024, 10:54 am |
Customers making fun of me |
28 Sep 2024, 5:43 am |
Certain sounds are making me feel more irritable - Why? |
17 Sep 2024, 7:27 am |