Dinner party socializing help

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Hi! I'm new here, but I'm hoping that I can get some help.

I have been working on socializing and have made a giant leap forward by inviting some friends over for dinner at my place next week. One of my special interests is cooking, so I'm hoping that by focusing on the food I won't totally freak out trying to socialize with the people I've invited. However, this dinner party is already on the verge of disaster for me because of something that happened yesterday. One of the people I invited, who I also have a crush on, mistook the day of the party and came yesterday. This wouldn't have been so bad, except I was in the the middle of rearranging my apartment (one of my stims that calms me down) and my place was a disaster area. I couldn't invite him in and I felt bad that I just had to kick him out when he had come all the way to my place. Needless to say that after he left I broke down in tears and have felt awful ever since. Although, on the positive side I think he will still be coming next week.

I guess I would like to ask, firstly, now that I've invited these people over, what do I talk to them about? How do I make them feel welcome? How do I keep from freaking out and wanting to hide in a hole in the ground? Secondly, how to I make this up to my crush and stop from feeling absolutely awful about what happened?

Thanks for your help.

P.S. A little about me, I'm new to WP, self-diagnosed AS, in my late 20's. I'm attempting to get an official diagnosis, but it's taking awhile.

self calming methods include deep breathing, a little exercise whatever. Just avoid using illicit drugs or alcohol to calm yourself as the side effects will cause more problems then they will solve.
eg alcohol may calm you down, but you may end up saying something you regret.

it is a giant leap foward to host a dinner party.
standard topics of conversation: the weather, sport, current events, what they do for a living, fashion. (these come up a lot in my experience).
or you can talk about what ever else you like.
just avoid topics that are sexual, racist,homophobic or violent.

I guess with the guy that came over early, just explain what the situation was and apologise is all I can suggest.

I personally get along good with making the lectures about my favorite topics interresting.... also many NT people got hobbies too.

Simply relaxe and to the drug thing, well alcohol may help a evening but the trick is to find the right level! A little tip on a dinner party it isnt shitface. Get a bottle of wine for each 3 people + one in reserve, on this dossage nobody will get drunk, you may crucifie for that but the best way to controll the mood of group of NT people are drugs(never ever be plenty on strong liquors but get plenty of beer and or wine, little weed can lift the mood but keep it away from people to drunk), space( 3m² a person, fewer provokes aggresion in non homogenus groups to much provekes clustering in sub groups wich prevents good communication) is the second factor and decoration and music (load enough but not to loud and subcultural appropiate) the third.

i rarely go to dinner parties.
if there was an election and a "dinner party" was a candiidate, i would not vote for it.
i like to eat what i want to eat and if it is not on the menu at a dinner party, i will go and procure it.
it is absurd in my mind that a dinner can be celebrated with a party anyway.
meals are meals and that is all they are.

Thanks to all of you for your suggestions. I hope some of them help. I'm dreading this get together, but hopefully it will go well.

Put some neutral music on in the background. Just a radio channel will do. Don't put it too loud - you have to be able to talk normally without raising your voice, but you also have to be able to hear the music when it's a bit quiet. Good for the atmosphere.

Instead of having all your lights up to their brightest point, dim them a bit, if you can. Again, good for the atmosphere.

If you don't know what to say, just let the others do the talking and let them know you're listening. Not by saying that you are, but by looking at them and making the general "hm" noises every now and then (just leave this part out if you don't know what I'm talking about).

If you want something to say, stuff that generally does well is asking people about work, their kids, their husbands/wives, or anything that's taking place in their lives: maybe you know that they're moving, or maybe they have an ill parent, or an annoying boss, or a back ache. Ask them about it.

People seem to ask the general question first, and then add something more detailed they already know ("So John, how's you dad? Is he still at the hospital or...?" "Mary, how is work? Did you get that promotion you were after?") When they're telling their answer, make sure you listen to what they're saying, and try to remember stuff for future conversations, so you can ask them about it again when you're seeing them next time.

About your crush, you could say something like "By the way John, sorry for not inviting you in last week! I would have, but I was on the middle of re-decorating the room, and I didn't have anything to drink or eat at all." He will then reply that it's okay and make some kind of "amusing" comment ("At least you let me in this time!"). And that's that.

When you feel like you're going to panic, go to the bathroom. "Excuse me", and you're off. Or you're going to check on the food that's still in the kitchen or whatever. Just make an excuse and have a short break. Tell yourself to calm down, take a deep sigh, and go back in. You'll be okay. They're already being fed, so it's not like they'll eat you.