Accidental Friends

Post Reply New Topic

So, I know that autistics are not usually good at making friends. I know that I personally am not. But I have gotten pretty lucky by obtaining friends by accident.

For instance, in kindergarten, I got a friend because I was sitting in the corner of the playground reciting my favorite book to myself and, since it was a very funny book (The Stinky Cheese Man and other fairly stupid tales) another kid sat by to listen. In elementary school I befriended another student because we were both sitting in the corner drawing things and we collaborated, creating various creatures and such together.

In middle school, I got the group of friends that would last to the present. The school was having construction work done and as such there was frightfully little to do and very little shade. So we were the group of people who were all sitting in the small bit of shade reading (already a good start since they were obviously all nerds). All other friends that I have had since have been friends of these friends that I was able to acclimatize to.

Anyone else have experiences such as these?

That is an example of how we make friends by shared special interest.
We are in a social place (in that case school) doing the same things we like,
in the same place at the same time, together.

I am not sure but it seems having something in common is not as important
in the NT world, based on the idiom "opposites attract" and other things I do
not recall now. For men, a beer in a bar with a big ballgame on a big TV seems
sufficient for acquaintance. (Intentional Generalization) I once saw plastic cake
toppings at a bakery consisting of a TV showing a football and a recliner chair
with a guy holding a beer and a remote control and I bought that just because
it was so funny to me as a model of that ubiquitous stereotype.

^^I must say that I find this very interesting indeedy ValMikeSmith. ^^I believe I have often discuessed this happy subject with my father. I believe sports fans are very interested within details of their sports, including tactics, teams, leagues, players, managers etc. And therefore I believe these individuals becoming friends due to a mutual interest of sports is very much the same as becoming friends due to similar interests in any other matter. However, I but believe that sports are much more popular interests within many nations for males humans and thus I suspect are not often considered "nerdy". I am very sorry if this is horrible of me however.

Two exampldes that are superficially different - but, I think, the same:

First day of school, new school, new town, same old me. Lunch break. I stand at the entrance to the cafeteria, knowing nobody, unclear where to go, maximizing external imperturbability.

Up comes RG. Invites me over to join a collection of fairly eccentric types - who become my staple friends for the next several years, still in touch with one of them.

I am eating lunch in the dining room of the hotel in Xlandia where I am expatriate professor. I overhear a conversation at the next table, throw in a comment, a few days later have one of my dearest friends ever established.

In bioth cases, my species' pheromones shibbolethed across the room to call to and hook the other - and vice versa.

They know their kinds, we know ours.