So my relatives are being really rude...

Post Reply New Topic

Whenever we have a family gathering, I would be the quiet one (surprise! surprise!, no...). But thats not the issue I am addressing here. I don't mind so much that the conversation is in such a way that I can't contribute. What really ticks me off is when my cousin or uncle or aunt asks questions about me, but they are not talking to me. They usually look at my mom and would say something like "So when is he moving back to university?" This is a total insult!! I can speak for myself. They are treating me like an object that can't talk. I can't believe they are doing this right in front of me.

I actually only noticed this recently as I was always not paying attention in the past so this is probably why my relatives treat me this way. They probably think I am still the same person who would zone out.

So pretty much I want to have a chance to talk more but the opportunity gets shut down in front of me.

Anyone have a similar experience?

It does seem quite rude, but I think you're right; they probably tried asking you diectly in the past, but you didn't realise, or else they got into the habit whe you were very young and never thought to stop.

Why not talk to your parents about it? Say that you want to try and participate more in conversations, so if someone asks a question about you, could they bat it towards you? (e.g. aunt Betty says "so how's Jc6chan doing?", your mum goes "how are you doing, Jc6chan?" and then you answer the question, directing it at Aunt Betty). Look her in the eye whilst you do it. She may be a bit flustered/act a bit put out, but she won't keep on doing it again, unless she's really got issues.

Alternatively, you could butt in yourself and respond, but that relies on you paying attention all the time; if you recruit your parents to help you, they can give you a nudge/swift kick to wake you up.

I know, I have the same problem a lot of the time. Usually my dad will redirect the question to me, though my mom talks for me if the question is directed toward her. I try to pay attention and cut in when a question like that is posed, but my dad's help is very welcome.

That usually happens to me at school. I'm normally thinking "Hello! I'm right here!"

Well, ive had issues with a recently decease relative who pretty much insulted everyone in my immediate family, not to mention said individual and another thought i was homosexual just because i havent dated much (not bashing anyone, just hate the assumption). Its probably assumptions . . . next time someone does this to you say, "Look at me when you're asking a question about me, please . . . " and perhaps gets your parents to redirect said questions back to you.