I had some good news over the weekend that a friend whom I have been hot/cold with added me on Facebook. I know that I have said something about it in a couple of places on these forums.
Even though my family basically raised him for a couple of years,20 years ago he moved on to live with other relatives. I have tried over the years to get back in touch with him, with mixed and sometimes nasty results. Part of this has been due to my on again, off again obsession that I have had with him over the years. due to the fact that I see him as someone who was pulled himself up by the bootstraps and became successful.
The interaction with this person, when I run into him or talk to him after years has usually turned out ok at first. What happens is that the obsession kicks in and I start to get overwhelming. He has told me that we can't have a close friendship anymore due to the fact that we have little or nothing in common, and that I made him uncomfortable. One time, when I e-mailed him, when he wouldn't respond, I kept sending the e-mail over and over again. Needless to say this ended up as a nasty, obscenity laced e-mail from him. When I have called him most of the time he has told me that "he was too busy to talk". He always has been congenial when I first run into him.
These reasons I was deeply surprised by him accepting the friend request. It came as a suggestion from a number of people that I know. What I am concerned about is how do I go about maintaining this Facebook friendship, without the interaction resulting in the above correspondence like it has in the past or it souring. Since I was very close to him a number of years ago, I would like to tell him the successes that I have experienced and how I am very different from the last time that we met. Any suggestions?
27 Apr 2010, 7:08 pm
