Getting other travelers to stop following me?

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I've been doing a lot of traveling and one thing that keeps happening, particularly when I stay in a hostel, is that someone will start following me around. They'll find out I'm going to dinner and tag along, or see me by myself and start talking to me. I often just want to be alone and they WILL NOT leave. They want to keep talking and doing things together.

Is there any way to get them to leave me alone without hurting their feelings or making them think I'm a complete freak?

hmmm you can reduce them with your shrink ray

I've got the same problem. You could try, "I'm sorry but I really need to be alone right now" but they'll probably be offended or scared. The thing is, they're earning karmic brownie points by befriending a loner. There's almost no way to make them see that they're not rescuing you.

What about just saying, "Thanks for the company, but I'm too shy for it." Laugh, give them a small smile, and remove yourself. Hopefully they won't follow.

Speak in a rare foreign language.

Or turn a corner and hide in a nook.

If that's what you prefer.

All I have to do is make eye contact, they will leave me alone then. Why? I don't know.

I can't always tell when ppl are just persistent 'admirier's and when they are over the top stalkers using to abuse someone who is, admittedly vulnerable. I think that that's a better description of what's going on here.

Wuff.

Stare creepily at them and ask if they'll be your boyfriend/girlfriend....

Or as Val Mike Smith, pretend you're foreign (if you're not good at acting, then have a variety of hats from different countries; I have one that's got German writing on it, so everyone thinks I am German).

"Hey, sorry if this sounds a bit odd, but I particularly enjoy traveling and exploring alone. Perhaps it's a kind of meditative thing for me, you know? So, if you don't mind....?"

That last one sounds pretty good.

I once had neighbours whose only comment on anything was "Praise the Lord!" - it stopped conversation cold.

This sort of thing happened to me on a train to New Orleans. It was hard to strike the right balance between not appearing aloof, as I think that's vitally important, and getting my own space.

Give them a nasty stare, flip the "finger" to them and scream, "STOP following me!"

That's pretty good. You're kind of letting the person off the hook.

You saying that this is a project of yours. Might be unusual, probably is, might not be, and either way is perfectly fine. And this is a project you've put some thought into and/or that means something to you. So, if you don't mind . . .

Thank you.

This is serious. These kind of situations you've got to trust your gut instincts. And the general method is to stay where there are people, or move from a place of less people to a place of more people. Do not allow the person you feel uneasy with to get you alone.

It is entirely appropropriate to ask the restaurant to call you a cab. It's also appropriate to ask a restaurant employee to walk you out to the cab. And it's okay to be mistaken regarding this, that is, to take the cab and/or ask the employee to walk you out when perhaps you don't absolutely "need" to do this. Again, trust your feelings. You can intellectually analyze the situation later.

You could just let the conversation go quiet and leave it there for a long while. Most people will go away.

Thanks! I like the zen/project thing. I'll have to work on that angle.

My usual "be boring until they go away" routine doesn't work with these people I'm afraid - they're so psyched about being in a new place and, I believe, so unaccustomed to being alone that they'll put up with quite a bit.

I don't really attract abusive people so that hasn't been an issue for me. I just seem to attract needy people. My only really effective defense so far has been to pay the extra money for a single room and move on to a new place if things get too social.