Your Most "Amusing" Social Blunders

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Just because I'm an anxiety ridden mess that thinks about 2 minutes too late for timely responses to hold together a conversation or have the option between an intense stare or constantly darting eyes, doesn't mean there aren't at least some situations I look back in retrospect and simply can't help but find ridiculously funny. Most of my memories are always riddled with haunting undertones, but there's one golden nugget I look back into and always smile upon.

I was working the register at my first job, and since this was a liquor store, ID is always an issue. Well, one day a woman walks up to me with a bottle of something and I proceed to ring her up. The assistant manager is in the little raised area stocking a few items or what have you, so he can clearly hear everything. With a friendly smile the woman asks me, "Aren't you going to check my ID?"

Now, someone with a sliver of tact and social know how would probably smile right back at this woman and humor her, but instead I blankly look at her and in a flat voice respond, "No, you look old enough."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you're okay."

When she walked out of the store, the manager pulled me over and said "Why'd you do that?"

"Why'd I do what?"

And then he explained to me that she simply wanted to feel young and it suddenly dawned on me, but because the manager was amused by my actions and because I thought my clueless behavior was pretty funny, this memory is always a happy one.

So now share your amusing social blunder!

Haha yeah that story sounds like something I'd do...

Somewhere before high school I've done the following:

1) Was invited to a party by a pretty girl on my block. After mixing sodas and then trying to find out if putting salt and sugar into it would cancel each other out(it didn't), I got bored, and went to find my shoes. The girl's mom stopped me and said "Hey, why are you leaving?" I said "I'm bored".

I didn't mean to insult her, I just gave an honest response to a direct question. For years I wondered why they've never invited me again.

2) I asked a girl out under the transparent guise of lecturing her on programmable calculators. We met under the stairs 2 hours later, and I watched the smile fade from her face as she listened to me talk about the actual goddamn programmable calculators. Then a few other girls ran past us, giggling, to the exit - they were eavesdropping and hoping for romance.

3) A different girl invited me to her house. She was nerdy, like me, and SHE actually used the calculator excuse to lure me in. The "excuse" part was completely lost on me. She had magazines with all these games for them. I couldn't quite understand why she kept trying to get my attention and talk to me, while I found those magazines absolutely fascinating. She stopped talking to me since then, too.

4) I was on the phone with a girl I had a crush on at the age of 14. I was nervous and didn't know what to say. So she asked me what I thought about another girl, her friend, T. I said, "Well, she's pretty cute, but you're the prettiest girl in class". Then I heard a thud as T. , listening in (of course), fell off her chair.

I'm not sure if this is amusing or just plain embarrassing, but I look back on it and laugh, wondering why in the heck I said what I did. I've never told anybody because I think it makes me sound like a terrible person.

My old friend from school called me a year after high school ended and first of all started the call with "Hi, do you know who this is?" With no caller ID and no time to even attempt to recognize a voice over the phone (which I can't do anyway), I guessed one of my guy friends. Which was funny enough, guessing she was a guy. But then she told me she was calling to tell me she was pregnant. I then proceeded to ask her if she was going to keep the baby, she said that she doesn't believe in abortion. So I said there were other options like adoption, and she said she couldn't imagine other people raising her child. So then I think I said something like "wow, that's crazy" (she was 19, I thought it was way too young to start having kids) and I don't remember the rest of the conversation. Looking back I think she reacted rather well to my questions, I think a lot of people would have gotten angry at me for being completely inappropriate.

I was at a party with a friend. He'd run into a lady friend of his, who took quite a liking to him. I was hanging around them quite a bit. At one point, the lady said, "hey, uh, why don't you check out what's going on with your other friends over there?" It was rather coarse of her, but she was suggesting I GTFO so that she could be alone with my friend. However, at the time, I totally missed that. Straight over my head. I said, nah, and stuck around talking to them as they sulked impatiently.

I worked briefly as a waitress, briefly because I stank at it.

One young woman asked for a a beverage with a French name. I had never heard of it, and I assumed it was a type of wine.

Me: "May I see some ID please?"
Her: "ID for what?"
Me: "I'm sorry, but we have to see identification for anyone who looks younger than 35; it's policy."
Her: "You need to see ID for water?"

Yup, I carded someone for water.

That's nothing. My brief career as a waitress ended in some guy's lap along with his dinner.

I once was talking with two acquaintances, both women, and somehow the conversation drifted to shopping (go figure). Long story short, I seemed to have asked what color bra they were wearing, and preferred. I don't have a very good filter and blurt things out sometimes, but I don't understand why I was chastised even though it was explained to me.

i took a photo, using a portrait lens on my SLR, of my older sister at a restaurant just when she opened her mouth wide to fork in some food, and when she saw the developed picture she rolled on the floor laughing herself silly. it was a funny picture but not exactly a socially proper thing for me to do.

A common way to get alcohol for youngsters that i head of was to sit down in a bar, order a glass of water, chat away with others, then one hour later order "another beer", or taking another persons glass and "order another one".


My "amusing" blunder:

I was talking about retrofitting old computers and i wanted to use "retrofit" in a Swedish sentence, so naturally i borrowed it and bended it to make it sound Swedish, and i used "Retrofitta", not noticing that the word "fitta" was in there, which in Swedish is a reference to a womans reproductive organ.

I didnt notice it until much later when i was sitting down with some other customers and were discussing "retrofitting" again and realised that i had been using that word for quite some time...

I often say things without thinking in a serious conversation, then I realise they sound incredibly dumb so I laugh at how stupid I sounded. Like when my friend was telling me she was pregnant, I was like, "You took a test?" and she said, "Yes," and I said, "Was it positive?" and then I think about what I just said and burst out laughing. Luckily she laughed as well, cos she got what was funny .

Tried to compliment someone last week but ended up sounding like I insulted them. I was hanging out with a boy and a girl, boy was on about his looks etc etc
Boy: blah blah ugly blah
Girl: I think you look plain
Boy to me: Do you think I look plain?
Me: You're on the better end of plain.
So both of us did the same thing. Although I think he looks nice which is why I said better end of plain.
And today he wouldn't stop bringing it up and making me remember it.

Wow... reading through this I realize that my life is a goldmine of this kind of blunder, most of which I'm probably completely unaware of

I had a really embarrassing incident a couple days ago though. I was driving with a friend and we were talking about this and that, just random things, and she said "Do you like gyros?" (pronounced: yiros):
There was a pause, then (puzzled) I said, "...The money?"
As it turns out she was saying this to lead into recommending a restaurant to me. Awkward laughter ensued, I felt like a complete idiot lol I couldn't figure any logical way to explain why I thought she'd been asking if I liked "Euros." and I still can't.

things happen every day in my life that are socially inadequate.
they are not amusing.

i can not remember many of them because they get superimposed by new ones every day almost. there are some memorable ones however.

last year, i went to a fruit shop and i bought some oranges and grapefruit, and they were in a plastic bag as i walked out of the shop. i was walking along the floor of the mall and it was rather crowded. i was walking close behind a man in his 50's, and i did not see an obstacle that i kicked that made me fall over. at the time i fell, i was scratching the back of my shoulder with the hand that i had the bag of oranges in, and i slung the bag over my back to make it easier to scratch where i need to scratch, and as i fell i instinctively tried to brace my fall with my hands, and so the hand with the bag in it that i was scratching my shoulder with swiveled forward in an overarm motion, and i clobbered the man in front of me over the head with the bag.
he immediately understood that it was accidental as he saw that i fell over, but other people who saw it from the corner of their eye were concerned that i had gone beserk for a few seconds before they too realized it was an accident.
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there was a fellow who used to service the trucks for a company i worked for a few years ago, and every time i parked my car in the company carpark and started to walk inside, he said hello to me (as the truck service area was in the carpark). we became friends and we spoke about all sorts of things. i knew him for about 2 years.
one day, a man was with him, and he intruduced this man to me and he said "this is my boyfriend michael", and they kissed.
i nervously said "oh dear! i am late and i must be going now so see ya" (without looking at my watch) and when i went inside i said to a person that i did not know the guy who worked on the trucks was gay.
i was told that it was a girl who worked on the trucks. i never knew he was a girl in the whole 2 years i knew him. he had short hair and i assumed he was a man (even though he had a high pitched voice).
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i always have a comb and pens in my top pocket of my shirt.
once, when i was walking rapidly along the street in a shopping area, there was an indian woman who was walking in the opposite direction and her scarf was blowing in the breeze and it got snagged on a comb in my top pocket. the comb was not pulled from my pocket because of the angle of pull, and her scarf was tightened around her neck seriously before i realized what was happening. i walk fast, and by the time i felt that the resistance pressure in my pocket was noteworthy, she started to scream in a stifled way.
again, people who saw the tail end of that occurrence thought she may have been being attacked.

i am clumsy and these sort of things happen often.

Oh boy...

Well when I was seven I decided I wanted to dress up as a superhero for school. One boy, who was rather heavy, also dressed up as a superhero and he went up to me and said "there isn't enough room for the two of us here." I responded, without any intention of offending him, "You're not that fat."

When I was 13, I went up to a girl and said, "I like your nose. It is pretty. What is your favorite serial killer?" (At the time, my special interest was serial killers, to the chagrin of my parents and the concern of everyone who met me.)

Several months ago, I was in the subway at night for the first time. I was nervous, so I started stimming by rocking back and forth and sucking on my bracelet. I still was frightened. I tried to calm myself down by telling myself a stupid story. The story I was telling myself was that the Chupacabra was a gift from loving aliens to protect us from goats, the creatures of the Devil. It was giving me amusement and making me feel much better, until I realized I was telling it out loud and everyone was staring at me. I was wearing a black trench coat too. >.< (For those who don't know, black trench coats in the U.S. have this mental illness/evil/sexual pervert/criminal stereotype attached to them. I just wear mine because it's warm.)

One of many....

Guy comes in to were I was working (a contract post office) and while doing his business comments that he was so conservative that he only buys one stamp at a time.

I immediately responded with, "That's not conservative...that's just being cheap."

My boss guffawed out loud and said, after he left, "I thought it, but I didn't SAY it."

The customer chuckled, so I don't know if he was offended or not.

When I was working in a resteraunt I saw my boss in his car so I walked up to ask him a few questions. The next day I see him at work and he tells me one of the waitresses was blowing him in the car and she would not stop giggling when I was talking to my boss. I still do not believe him, I think he was just saying that to make me look dumb or oblivious. I think I would have noticed her head bobbing up and down or at least hear the giggling.