social conditioning changing toward people with disabilites

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cursedone12
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07 Jun 2010, 12:14 am

In my early life, I was picked on, a lot, by Alpha type people who exploit the weak to bolster their own superiority, however there were also people who would reach out to me and try to be my friend....those people are gone. I've noticed that people who once tried to be friends with me now act like they dont know who i am. It's nothing i said, nothing i did. Its just that its no longer socially acceptable to be friends with someone who isnt considered normal, and its no longer a requirement to try to help them. I swear to god there was this one dude who once was my friend, but as soon as he decided he was cool, he started making fun of me and acting like he didnt know me in public, and calling me a ret*d even though he once claimed that i "wasnt that bad", in regards to my particular degree of AS. I believe that he began acting this way toward me because he felt as if he had to to live this new lifestyle he had chosen for himself, and that having a friend with AS was no longer feasible for him. Theres nothing worse then knowing that its socially unacceptable to associate with you, that means that your a whole new level of weird. It hurts to know that after all the hard work i have put into developing social skills, these people think i havent changed a bit. It seems like people believe that excluding me is a requirement for social development, and that im an example of a NON succesful person. However this kid did invite me to one of his parties, and the kids he told I had aspergers replied with "he doesnt act like he has that, are you sure?" Maybe its just him. but anyway do you guys feel as if friends come and go with changes in social attiudes toward people with disabilities in your environment? Discuss



zer0netgain
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07 Jun 2010, 7:31 am

A hard topic for me. Growing up, making fun of the handicapped was not really seen as "bad" enough that people were ostracized for doing it. There were even a series of books called "Totally Tasteless Jokes" that were very popular.

There is even a validity in "dark humor" when you poke fun at the issue of being handicapped. It's funny, but it's not funny. It's a social taboo, and being able to joke about it brings a cathartic release.

I think people are realizing that there are a lot of handicaps out there and you never know who is struggling to overcome one. Still, at the same time, too many use a disability (even if it's real) as a cop out to not try and be the best they can be, and IMHO that deserves ridicule. It's one thing to try and fail. It's another to never try.

You are correct about the "Alpha types." They have always existed, and there are a lot of people who feel the need to bolster their own value by putting down anyone less than them. Ironically, they are usually just as bad, but somehow that public display of bullying makes them better :roll:

What has always been the case is that if you want to be popular, you must associate with those who are deemed popular. You might be popular because you work with handicapped people, but that's because your local social circle values that choice. Live someplace where people are shallow and self-absorbed and you will be a pariah for doing that.