Fear of NT

Post Reply New Topic

I am scared of people. Growing up I was (and am) always to mature or to immature to make friends with it got to the point where I shut myself off from other people. For years I did everything in my power to stay away from the “ants” as I called them. I did not call them that because I thought I was better than them but because ants could talk to each other without a sound. It has been over ten years since I locked myself away from the ants and now I want to make friends and find love. But any time I find myself trying to start talking to a person I feel like I am going to cry. I get super scared and once I even passed out when a girl said “your cute” what a mess that was. I do want to make friends and when it comes to professional life, work and so on I am good. But when it comes to my personal life I epic fail all the time. I even went to my first anime con thinking I could make friends there and when I did talk I was labeled freek.

Hi mesona.

First of all, glad you're here. Communication through an online discussion forum is a good start. However, your difficulties seem to be IRL.

Self-imposed isolation for 10 years got you used to not talking to anyone, so trying to do so now is new, and very frightening. Your reactions are perfectly understandable.

It sounds to me like you may have developed a type of social phobia, which may require some professional intervention. No, I am NOT saying there's anything horribly wrong with you--you just need some help doing something you don't know much about--socializing.

I remember feeling the same way a lot in grade school, to the point where I felt physically ill almost every school day. I was definitely afraid of people too (especially since I was bullied a lot). My mom's encouragement, and gentle insistence that I keep going, eventually helped "desensitize" me. Academically, homeschooling would have worked fine, but then I would not have learned how to deal with people.

I don't know how old you are, but it's not too late to deal with this. Find a therapist who deals with social phobias (and who hopefully understands AS).

Good luck. Let us know how things go.

I am 23. Social phobia does sound a lot like what I have, Right now my plan is to start talking to people on this site and maybe see if there are any aspies around me.

I've noticed that being 23 is somewhat of a common age for people with AS deciding to socialize.

Sounds like a good plan. Again, glad you're here, welcome.

I started to socialize at the age of 23, as well.

What makes this the age we want to socialize I wounder? any tips will help a lot. and good to be here conundrum

I don't know, but I've heard that same thing before, except it was usually 24. I don't know how people can start that late- if I hadn't been practicing like mad all my highschool/college years, it would be too hard to relate to anybody.

Mesona, you have a unique set of circumstances- you've shut yourself away, and yet have become successful professionally. That's remarkable. If you've managed to do that, there's more hope than you realize, or at least more than it seems you're giving yourself. The "instinct" is there, you just have to acclimate yourself to the jungle.