Do you feel like friends might be avoiding you?

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zeldapsychology
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30 May 2010, 12:35 pm

I called a friend (to ask a question) NO REPLY! (on FB are you feeling better seen a doctor yet) NO REPLY! texted her hope you are feeling better NO REPLY! Anyone you know like this? I told mom about this and I WAS planning to take her out for her Bday in Sept. mom said don't bother if she doesn't want to take the time to reply/return your calls. :-)



CanadianRose
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30 May 2010, 1:03 pm

I usually don't like to make excuses for people, but if she was feeling unwell - she might not be bothering to reply to people.

Give it a few days and contact her again. Say something like this - "Hi, haven't heard from you in a few days, please drop me a note."

If your friend does not reply within a few days, you should use the money that you would have spent on your friend and treat yourself and your mum instead :D.

As for your acquaintance/friend, I would not tell her that you took your mum out instead of her. I would not say anything to her. If she decides to contact you - keep in cordial and light and continue. If she does not contact you - don't go out of your way contacting her.



kwilky
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30 May 2010, 1:23 pm

What friends? :cry:



Asterisp
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30 May 2010, 1:24 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
I called a friend (to ask a question) NO REPLY! (on FB are you feeling better seen a doctor yet) NO REPLY! texted her hope you are feeling better NO REPLY!

It could be he/she was really busy. Last few weeks I had that problem, because of work. I had some weeks of 60 hours /week, which is a lot. Now I have some days off, so I can contact some friends again.

But it could also be the way you approached him/her, Aspies can be a bit direct sometimes.

Try not to be mad with your friend, but first find the reasons. You can always get mad later.



zeldapsychology
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30 May 2010, 1:39 pm

Thanks for the tips. I FB her a message how was her test/see the doc etc. and told her what I did with my student ID. Maybe she'll reply maybe not. After she IMO was harsh about me telling her all my plans (lets do this/that/this etc.) I was kind of upset and said Fine sorry I bothered you! (looking back perhaps that was rude to say) Me/mom were talking I shouldn't always plan stuff out way in advance she says perhaps that scares people off. but IMO that's just how I am. :-)



ED-209
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30 May 2010, 1:46 pm

When I was a teen I would make plans with people and they would always seem to wind up sick and cancel. Or be very late or have some other excuse. After seeing that this didn't happen much to other people, I chalked it up to people avoiding me. Now sometimes people need to cancel plans but I have learned that if it is not an excuse they will make other plans with you and I shouldn't hound them over it.

It's a crappy lesson to learn, I wish I understood it sooner.



Obgeektor
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30 May 2010, 5:04 pm

ED-209 wrote:
When I was a teen I would make plans with people and they would always seem to wind up sick and cancel. Or be very late or have some other excuse. After seeing that this didn't happen much to other people, I chalked it up to people avoiding me. Now sometimes people need to cancel plans but I have learned that if it is not an excuse they will make other plans with you and I shouldn't hound them over it.

It's a crappy lesson to learn, I wish I understood it sooner.


Tell me about it! Nice avatar, BTW.
Yeah, let people come to you, and do be available for those who seem to care, and who consider you as much as you consider them, especially over time.


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PunkyKat
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31 May 2010, 4:28 pm

Yes.


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CockneyRebel
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31 May 2010, 5:50 pm

I had one person who kept avoiding me, when it suited her, and calling me, when it suited her. I got rid of her. She was the most superficial thing that I've ever seen.


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astaut
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07 Jun 2010, 1:18 am

I do alllll the time. That's sort of what I was trying to get answered in this (click) thread. I don't know if they're avoiding me or not.


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JRogers
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07 Jun 2010, 3:22 pm

I feel like friends avoid me sometimes too, but I try not to let it bother me too much and not take it personally. Why? In my mind, a friend might be avoiding me because he feels sick that day, or is very tired after work, or hasn't charged his cell phone, has yet to check his voicemail for messages or is plain old not feeling like talking/hanging out at that moment. There's a zillion different potential reasons why, but it doesn't matter. Unless this friend is ignoring you for extremely long periods of time then it isn't worth worrying about. If they are purposely avoiding you for long periods of time, then it's probably worth investing in some new friends (and by that I mean investing time and energy into meeting/going out with new people, not trying to buy them or anything).