Do You Make People Uncomfortable

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A couple of days ago I went out with my brothers on Mill Ave. Its a place by ASU in Arizona where there arelots of bars. Im not old enuff to get in them but we went into a burger restaurant. I was with my older brother sitting down when he asked me if I noticed a girl looking at him and I said no. 5 minutes later the girl comes over and makes her move on us. She starts talking to us and she notices that I'm a little shy. I was nervous because I havent been out of the house in a while and talking to new girls makes me nervous. The girl said "aww he's so shy" to her friend. I was even more nervous knowing that my brither was judging me. My brother put on an act in front of the girls. It was somewhat of a smooth act and the girl fell for it. I could tell that the girl was acting as well. I didnt put on an act because thats hard for me. Then the girl gave me a hug and i didnt hug her back because i was scared uncomfortable. Her and my brother exchanged numbers and the girl took my hand and kissed it. My brother said "you need to stop being so shy around girls. You also need to watch for signals. I saw that she was looking at us the whole time, she really wanted to talk to you, but you were too shy! Dont be a hermit"

My brother has a learning disability and he has trouble understanding signs and stuff when he drives and he often gets lost but I help him navigate sometimes. I could easily call him ret*d but that would not be nice. but for some reason when you have a social impairment people get on you more, and more emotional pain comes from it. My brain doesnt function to pick up those signals, and when I try I usually get them wrong.

I wrote my school counselor, who was more like a therapist to me over this school year. I am now graduated. and the message I wrote her was when I was gaduated. I wrote the message on Saturday. I told her about the incident and how my brother has a learning disability. I compared it to a girl who seduced me, and how I didnt pick up any signs before she said "I wanna have sex with you". The point of the message was to compare two similar situations where a girl has shown enough interest in me to give me physical contact.

My counselor writes back that she is not comfortable talking to me about sex. I felt really embarrassed even though it is over the internet. Before she replied it took her about 2.5 days. I wrote her a message today asking oif she got my message (abou the incident) she finally replied with that message. But i realized she was avoiding the message at first. I was completely embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
But now that I look at it, I understand that I wasnt trying to talk to her about sex, but explain two similar situations. I often make people uncomfortable because I am so straight forward.

Before the incident I would write my counselor telling her how the guys in my class would talk about having sex with their gfs and it would frustrate me. I would also add other stuff to the message. My counselor would reply to the other stuff, but wouldnt refer back to the sex part.

I didnt expect her to talk about sex, but only how to deal with hearing stuff i didnt wanna hear. Now I realize the whole time she was uncomfortable talking about anything that had the word sex in it. Now I feel dumb. i dont know if I should.
Its hard enough picking up social cues IRL, and trying to so it over email is so much worse.

What do you guys think. should I be embarrassed? I was only trying to talk about how I dont pick up on social cues well, thats it. I thought about explaining this to her, but at the end of her message she told me to "Have a nice summer". Implying that she doesnt wanna talk to me anymore, so im gonna take that as a cue.

wait, i dont understand what were you trying to compare? What does your brother having a disibility have to do with anything?

I think you should avoid going out with your brother & possibly go with some girl/guy friends (doesn't matter what combo) if you have any. Otherwise, I'd stick with another relative or your parents. Did this girl seriously say she wanted to have sex with you? Or did you just assume that based on her behavior and what your brother was saying?

If she didn't say she wanted to have sex with you she was either flirting in an over-the-top manner or trying to make you look like a jerk. If she said that she was either coming on to you (in an extremely inappropriate manner for someone you just met) or again trying to manipulate you. Sums up to 2 scenarios that could also be combined: either you just seem fun to take advantage of or are extremely good looking (both is possible). I'm assuming you just graduated from high school? Hopefully, if you go to college or now that your out of high school you will have the opportunity to make some friends who you can trust and will help you out in the kind of situation you had with your brother.

Jeezus, I would be hiding away somewhere. It's just bloody ridiculous!! !! !

Anyways the post is not about those girls. It's about how do I stop thinking about my counselor telling me that she is uncomfortable talking about the subject of sex. I feel really embarrassed, although I know it's not my fault, I just don't know how to stop thinking about it. The sentence has been replaying in my mind ever since I read it and there's not a second that goes by that I don't think about it. its very frustrating

It is unusual for a school councilor to avoid the discussion of sex...that is part of their job because of the crazy hormones durring high school to be able to thwart any sexually dangerous or irresponcible situation. So in discussing this with her, you are assuming that she is able to fulfill her job requirements. With that said, it seems like she has a personal issue about sex...which is not your fault in the least and you should not be embarrased. It does seem though that she acts like someone who has been sexually abused at some point in her life. Again, do not feel bad about this. She has the responcibility to get help for that, justice...whatever she needs to do to overcome it, so she can be able to fulfill her job requirements or she needs to find a new line of work.

You have done nothing wrong...so dont feel bad, but dont try discussing what I mentioned above to her as that will not go well for you if that is the case.

As far as seeing social cues of when a girl puts the moves to you. Some times people can get sexual without much warning...that is always unsettling. If you dont like that, you have the right to say so. Just because you are a guy does not mean you have to be a full throttle sex machine if that makes you uncomfortable. Sometimes girls assume that guys want to have sex all the time with whoever is willing and female...but guys have boundaries too. You dont have to allow girls do what they want with you.

best wishes,

Jojo

Counsellor needs counselling?

Perhaps she thinks that the OP is a bit too insistent in their advice-seeking?
Regardless, counsellor's job is to counsel and advise.

Thanks you guys you guys are right. I am on summer break now so I wont ever see her again probably in my life because I will be starting university in the fall. I just find it hard to let go of what someone says. and I've posted this same question on many different sites, and I am told by everyone that it's not my fault. so i guess it's not my fault

I've had to send some lengthy clarification emails and posts in my time lol.....

No doubt, you'll feel compulsed to do the same to put an end to any "loose ends" with the counsellor.

At least then, if she does not answer, it is her problem, not yours.